A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My husband nearly had an affair with his best friend. We've been married for a year now.I believe this girl who is a divorcee very smartly and cunningly influence my husband. He used to confide in her and she took advantage of it. She played with his emotions and led him to run after her. Now that she's gone and I have left him, he wants me back. But he still doesnt realize what that gal has done. For him, she is still an angel. He doesnt realize how she ruined his marriage. If she returns later on it might happen again. How can I convince him that she is not a true friend, she simply ruined his life.He will not listen to me if I tell him.
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affair, best friend, divorce Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAnother thing though is that he cannot really perform he has a problem. So, I'm in an absolute dilemma as to what does he really wanted.However, while he was having wateva he was with her he neva ignored me. He was still fulfilling his duty as a husband and keeping me happy and doing things he could to show he loves me,
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2008): I think you have been given good advice already to your dilemma but I would ask you to think long and hard about whether or not YOU want him back? He wants you....but that doesn't mean to say it is the best thing for you. Will you ever trust him again? Are you always going to live worrying about the next so called female friend he has? Worrying and wondering if next time he will actually cheat? You may well give him one more chance, you may well get rid of this 'other woman' out his life - but do you think he respects you... without you having to show him how to? Just some things to think about.
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A
male
reader, Somethingeasy  +, writes (10 February 2008):
 Dont even bother. He cheated once and didnt see the error of his ways the first time, what makes you think hes going to change a second time.I never understood why people in relationships give people who cheat on them a second chance. Never made sense to me. Once a cheater always a cheater. IMO
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2008): Oh well if he can't see what is so obvious to you then he is playing dumb or is very infatuated with her so he can't admit her faults, and either way these are both bad scenarios, in which case you are probably better off without him. No guy should EVER EVER make his wife compete with any other woman in the entire planet. You are number one, two and three, and if you say to him that you don't trust this woman, he should instantly believe you without a doubt about it, even if only because he respects you and respects your opinion. And not only believe you but try to atleast see it himself. Furthermore, no guy is that naive. If she really is seducing him, he definitely knows what's up, probably likes the attention and is just playing dumb. But that's not good enough for you. You deserve someone who only has eyes for you and would never put you in this position and has enough respect for you so that when you say you feel uncomfortable about something they automatically believe and trust your intuition and do everything possible to make you feel at ease. But he hasn't done this. He just showed you his true colors. You deserve someone who treats you much better.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2008): Tell him exactly what you have just said there. Sit down with him, look him in the eyes, and explain all of your feelings to him. If he's not listening in a day-to-day casual conversation, then you need to be serious with him. This is not fair on your emmotions, or his, so you need to get him told. This is the only way he'll ever realise what she's doing. Tell him that his marriage is in pieces because of her, and that he needs to realise she isn't all he thinks she is.
Soon, he'll come round to his senses. Good luck honey :]
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