A
male
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone! I've got sort of an awkward issue, and I'm going to try to make this brief.I get erections incredibly easily and it's starting to annoy me. Especially around my girlfriend. I'm a very physical person, it's how I show affection, yet if I get physical with her (not sexually, we haven't been together very long, just cuddling or petting) I usually get an erection. I'm worried about how she'll react So far I've done a good job hiding it, but it's getting out of hand. Sometimes I get an erection just texting her! (Again, not sexual texts). I'm 18 and I'm already through puberty. I've got a slightly above average sized member so tucking it under my waistband won't work. I've tried squeezing my legs together, thinking non sexual thoughts, distracting myself, and nothing helps.How do I control these erections I get so easily?? I usually can't adjust either, like I said because of my size I don't have a convenient go-to I can adjust to, not to mention I'm not usually in the vicinity of a restroom. We spend a lot of time together and it's only a matter of time before I completely embarrass myself.Should I confront her on it? I don't want her to get uncomfortable, I'm worried she'll reject my affection or stop being physical to me, which I can't handle as it's how I show affection to her.Any help is appreciated, thanks!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Woodstock54 +, writes (3 October 2017):
Bro, chances are she already knows. Especially if your cuddling. Just be chill.
A
male
reader, Riot2017  +, writes (3 October 2017):
Fix: masturbate before seeing your girlfriend every time. If you are always around her, find a quite and remote place where you can keep calm that erection of yours.However, at that age is very difficult to control that.It happened to me several times with the girl I had a crush on, and I had to do everything to hide it, like placing my school bag on my lap, or just remaining sitting with my legs crossed, making sure not to make a show.It also happened me many times on pools .Best luck!
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (2 October 2017):
Good sir...Please... oh please, do not confuse these two things...
" I'm a very physical person, it's how I show affection"
Physical attraction is not affection...WRONG!!!! They are not even close.
Men are confused...They believe because they want to have sex with a woman, it shows affection, or that they are in love.
Truth is...Men are in love with the FEELING they get from physical attraction.
Women show "their" AFFECTION in hopes that the man would be physically attracted to them.
When man is truly in love with a woman, he wants his AFFECTION to be known, and idea of marriage begins to become more real. Physical attraction is just the need for sex...nothing more.
An erection is just lust, and a need to release that tension. So do not confuse lust with affection. Learn that now, so you don't sleep with the wrong woman thinking you are in love.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2017): When I started going out with a boyfriend and we got to the stage of kissing each other, I couldn't understand why he kept his body away from mine. It felt unnatural and frustrating for me because I wanted to cuddle him as we kissed.
It was only years later that he told me that he was embarrassed about the fact that he had an erection and didn't want me to know.
I couldn't believe it! I would hope and expect a man to have an erection under those circumstances. We weren't at the stage of having sex, but I would still have loved to have felt his erection against me.
Women are sexual beings too and your girlfriend would probably love to know how she makes you feel. Don't thrust it against her but don't try to keep it from her either when you're making out.
You are worrying about nothing believe me. And to be honest I found it a bit of a turn off that he was worried about letting me know that he had an erection. We would be worried if you didn't at your age.
Relax and enjoy yourself and just go with the flow. Keep your concern about how your girlfriend might be feeling though, even if it probably misplaced in this instance. Good luck:-)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2017): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the reassurance everyone. Last night we took a step up in our relationship so I'm not thinking it'll be as unusual now. I'd never push her to have sex or do anything she wouldn't be okay with. I just needed to hear some anonymous advice. Thank you!
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A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (30 September 2017):
 I'm almost 26 and still have this.
Be happy you can get it up man, could be much worse. I'm sure your GF is happy that you find her sexually attractive.
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A
male
reader, jc2008 +, writes (30 September 2017):
If it was me I would try masturbating more and maybe her some tighter underwear to help hold it in place. Don't worry about it, it's all normal
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A
male
reader, Been there Now over it +, writes (30 September 2017):
Wouldn't you love to have a girl who you discover "gets wet" whenever she just looks at your photo or gets your text? If and when she finds out, she'll love your reaction to her.
As for controlling your reactions, about the only thing you can do is think about something nonsexual, such as your next math exam or how you can fix your bike. Yes, the vast majority of us would prefer the boner, which is why distracting thoughts aren't working for you. It is quite normal to get an erection when cuddling or petting. At your age I was getting aroused at much less than that. Don't "confront" her regarding your situation. She'll be delighted as she discovers your attraction to her.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious + ♥, writes (30 September 2017):
 It is unlikely your girlfriend will be anything but flattered at your reaction to her! In fact, she has probably already noticed but is probably too embarrassed to say anything.
As long as you don't push her to have sex before you are both ready, she cannot blame you for what is a natural reaction.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2017): You are quite normal. Young men of your age get boners several times a day for no reasons at all. A fleeting thought or even boredom can get them hard. Avoid kissing and cuddling your gf when you are in a room with other people present. If she notices your boner when you are together just laugh it off and tell her that is what she does to you when she is near. I think once the worrying thought is eleminated you will be ok.
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