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How do I control something that is so compulsive in my nature?

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Question - (10 December 2017) 7 Answers - (Newest, 19 December 2017)
A male age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I dunno if this is the right place to ask this question but here goes... I'm a motorcyclist and I'm impulsive and crave the thrill of speed.I had another accident today... This must be my fifth and it looks like I have completely torn my rotator cuff tendon this time.. I'm unable to move left arm above my head or sideways. I'm gutted... Every time I have an accident I make sure I'm really careful while riding for about two weeks and then the memory of the accident fades away and I'm back to riding fast again... Most of the time I don't even need to go fast... It's just instinctive. I'm from a place where motorbikes are more popular than cars,I have to use one daily to get to work and can't afford a car... How do I control something that's so impulsive and in my nature. I worry for the safety for others and my own.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (19 December 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntIf you cannot control it then do the sensible thing and get rid off it and give up the motor bike completely. It really is the only option I see here if you keep going you will end up killing yourself or worse killing innocent people and children. Imagine crashing and finding out you have killed a full family? Some ones child? Surely you have the sense to see that this is not something to take lightly. If you cannot afford a car for work, then get a bike that you can cycle. You are old enough now to be responsible.

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom +, writes (11 December 2017):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntYou stop riding, sell it and find another way to work. Either that or:

- wait until you become paralysed from an accident

- wait until you make someone else disabled in an accident

- wait until you kill yourself or someone else in an accident

If you can't be a responsible rider, you shouldn't be near a motorcycle. Turn yourself into the police for dangerous driving and have them remove your license.

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A male reader, Been there Now over it United States +, writes (11 December 2017):

You especially shouldn't be riding a motorcycle if you have little control of one arm.

This is all very easy...sell the motorcycle and don't buy another. Get a cheap car, ride share or find another way to get to work.

It takes more discipline to ride a motorcycle than it does a car. As noted, you are a danger to not just yourself but, more importantly, to others. You don't say where you're from, but in the USA you can do a long stretch in prison for injuring another when you are riding carelessly.

You are obviously lacking in self-control. Frankly, you sound like an immature twirp or doesn't really know how to properly handle a motorcycle. You need to mature before you go back to riding.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2017):

Your compulsive behavior is being dismissed using the typical excuse for irresponsibility. You're claiming you can't help it.

Well, I hope you can afford a motorized-wheelchair when you cripple yourself.

Well, there are two probable means of intervention and prevention of any further irresponsibility and recklessness. The police will takeaway your license; or you might kill yourself. You are inconsiderate of the possibility you might totally disable yourself, or you could injure or kill someone.

You need to be taken off the road. You're a danger to yourself, other cyclists, and pedestrians.

You need to trade your motorcycle in for a scooter. It can only reach a certain speed; but it is faster than a moped or motorized-bike. Scooters are very reliable. More than anything else, you need to grow-up and stop trying to be Evil Knievel! Google it!

If you hit a child, an elderly person, or someone's loved-one; you will be jailed! It is also possible some enraged vigilante will beat you to death out of vengeance for the unnecessary loss of life.

If you live in a country where motorcycles are used more that cars, vigilante-justice is pretty common among villagers and tribes.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2017):

Do you have any (other) signs of ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder)?

Impulsive behavior, need for speed are just some of the symptoms. Look it up. There are some tests online that may help you.

If it's ADHD you're using speed as a stimulus, here's one explanation:

"What does this have to do with motorcycling? One of the things that AD/HD people typically demonstrate is stimulus seeking behavior-they enjoy activities that provide a lot of input and stimulation. Motorcycling, first person shooter video games, mountain biking, snowboarding, surfing: these are all activities that AD/Hders can find attractive. My educated guess is that there's a higher incidence of AD/HD in motorcyclists than in the general population.

ADHD often causes problems that we as motorcyclists can identify with. Driving is an area where the lack of focus and the need for stimulation often results in speeding tickets (been there, done that: at least I can now do traffic school online). "

Remember that as an adult your ADHD may not be as severe as they are in kids. So when you go through a list of symptoms, think about how you were when you were a kid as well.

My husband's life changed for the better SO MUCH after his diagnosis. He feels more balanced and constructive.

Good luck and don't be afraid, ADHD can be treated and controlled.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (10 December 2017):

chigirl agony auntDriving a motorcycle is not instinctive. You're doing it because, to be honest, you aren't mature enough yet to understand consequences. How else can you explain that you end up in accidents and then you "forget" about it after just two weeks. It's a matter of not being mature enough.

Until you understand the risks fully and learn to control yourself, you should not ride a bicycle. Otherwise you will have your license taken away from you or worse: end up dead or killing someone else. Or seriously injuring yourself.

Ask yourself how you will get to work if you're stuck in a wheelchair. Really. There are other ways to get to work. And don't think that you wont speed if you're in a car, with the way you say your mind works, you will speed then too, and be an even worse hazard in the traffic.

No, start riding a regular bike or electric bike, or take the bus, or find someone you cab carpool with to get to work. People without means of transportation do find other ways to get to work besides riding a motorcycle. You'll think of something.

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (10 December 2017):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntCan you channel your need for speed towards something else? Perhaps another sport? Even a sport involving motorbikes?

Public highways are not the place for indulging your need. You already know what can happen. Next time you might not walk away. Next time someone else might die because of YOU. How would you feel if you killed a child? Or the father or mother of young children? If you have any morals, that would haunt you for the rest of your life. Would that be worth your thrill?

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