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How do I calm down during foreplay?

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 May 2019) 6 Answers - (Newest, 16 May 2019)
A male United Kingdom age 26-29, *auly2000 writes:

I'm very new to the world of sex, having never been in a relationship before. I now have a girlfriend who is equally as inexperienced. We've never actually had intercourse but I was wondering what people actually do during sex/foreplay when it comes to all the mess! I've come close to ejaculating several times during foreplay but have had to stop myself because I don't want to make a mess and stop all the passion, resulting in constant blue balls! What's the procedure, I'm too innocent!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (16 May 2019):

Honeypie agony auntI agree with the condom, it also cuts down a tad on the sensitivity.

And it's a GOOD habit to get into to USE condoms EVERY time. Nothing is 100% safe, but it's a LOT safer when using condoms correctly.

You don't stop the fun just because you ejaculate. You still have the ABILITY to please and tease your partner.

Like mentioned most women do NOT climax from penetration alone. So this is a GOOD time for you to learn what makes your partner tick. What she likes, enjoys and what she doesn't. READ her cues.

And while you use your mouth/fingers you can recoup and build up to another erection. And when that happens, maybe you are both ready for a round 2.

Sex is messy OP. Don't compare it to porn.

Have a box of tissues handy for the both of you.

BEING sexually aroused means FLUIDS starts to run. The bodies are MEANS to create this, to lubricate and transport seed.

If you are both sticky afterwards, take a shower together. Go for round 3..

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (15 May 2019):

chigirl agony auntToilet paper. Or just hold the foreskin over. If you dont have your foreskin, I suggest a condom for less mess. Easy to slip off. You can also use a towel, but they are harder to clean.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2019):

Sex doesn't have to end with your ejaculation. Explore each other...ask her what she likes...let her open up to you. Women generally don't orgasm through penetration, so try making her come through your fingers, your tongue, your mouth.

Even after you both are sated, cuddle and spoon together. Talk and hold each other. It'll help you both bond.

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A female reader, Anonymous 123 Italy +, writes (14 May 2019):

Anonymous 123 agony auntAmen to everything aunt YouWish said. That way my first thought as well, masturbate and have an orgasm before you meet her so there'll be a lot less pressure on you. And even if you ejaculate when with her, so what? Clean yourself up quickly and continue pleasing her till she gets there. Give her an orgasm with your fingers or with your tongue, she'll guide to you what feels good and where to keep going. Good foreplay can go on for hours if you like and can be the most amazing experience!

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (14 May 2019):

YouWish agony auntOne thing you can do is -- a couple of hours before your date with your woman, masturbate to orgasm. You'll gain a lot more control during foreplay. If that makes no difference, and you still are in danger of being premature, then go ahead and ejaculate!! Then you can take a minute or two and start again! The only reason sex stops after you ejaculate is YOU! Your fingers never go soft, and neither does your tongue! When you ejaculate, switch to oral sex or your fingers and KEEP UP THE PLEASURE for her! Whatever you do, DO NOT STOP and make her frustrated! If you are this touchy, then eventually after still keeping up her pleasure and stimulation during foreplay, your "little soldier" will be ready for ROUND 2, and you'll satisfy her until you two find your rhythm!

75% of women CANNOT orgasm through intercourse, so understand that you do not HAVE to have her come through intercourse! Make her orgasm before you EVEN ENTER HER! By the time you DO enter her, she can most likely experience MULTIPLES and will be slick and ready from her first orgasm. If you ejaculate early, continue with your fingers until she gets there too! Or use a toy, or your tongue, or anything! Your penis doesn't have to dictate how long sex lasts and if it does, that is selfish. You can finish her off no matter what by 100 different techniques!

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom +, writes (14 May 2019):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntTowels/tissues. If you can’t have a laugh about the realities of sex, including the mess, then you shouldn’t be having sex together yet. It’s not a bad thing to prevent messes. Enjoy the foreplay, but remember to communicate in a healthy way when things aren’t hot and heavy too. Sex should be discussed before, during and after. Have a towel on hand to stop the mess.

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