New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login244945 questions, 1084256 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

How do I break off an affair with a married co-worker?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Cheating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 May 2013) 3 Answers - (Newest, 5 May 2013)
A male South Africa age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I've just turned 21 and have been

working at my job for about 18 months

now. It started at last years work staff

party. Everyone was dancing, drinking

and partying, because i dont drink or

smoke, i kept myself one side and chatted to anyone who sat at the our

table. So i went to the bathroom, when i

returned i found this lady sitting in my

seat, i told her its fine, she can sit

anywhere. I knew her name, she was 30

and very attractive, we've never spoken to each other before because she works

in another dept. So we made small talk

and made a few jokes. Then out of the

blue i said to her "i would actually go

after you if you werent married", i said it

as a joke, but i dont know why i said that, its not like me to say things like

that. She just looked at me and smiled.

Then she went back to dance for an half

an hour. She then returned to my table

and sat next to me again. She then

leaned over and ask me quietly in my ear "is it true what you said earlier that you

would go after me if i wasnt married?", i

then said yes, because you attractive and

beautiful, what guy wouldnt? She then

didnt say anything and smiled. A few minutes later she leaned over

again whispered in my ear "so then a kiss

between us would be nothing right?" i

was so stunned by what she she said, i

just said "i guess not". Later that night a

few of us were invited to the afterparty at a co-workers house. They then started

arranging transport to the after party,

turned out she had to travel in the same

cab as me. While on our way there, she

just leaned over and started kissing me,

and i kissed her back, this went on till we arrived at the after party, and then we

kissed a few times in the bathroom.

When the night was over, we went our

seperate ways, and didnt see each other

for a month because it was christmas

holidays. When we returned to work, i had already

kind of forgotton what had happend,

because it never really meant anything to

me. Then she came over to me lunch

time and asked me if i had forgotten

what happend and if it meant anything to me. Not to sound insensitive i said no i

didnt forget and yes it kinda meant

something. She then asked me if we

could do it again sometime, and i

agreed. To cut a long story short, we've

kissed numerous times and have had sex 5 times since then, all at work and its

only been 5 months since its started.

We've never seen each other outside of

work. My problem is i want to break this affair

off with her, but i dont know how, its

also messing with my emotions and i

hate sneaking around, and also hate

putting up a front for other co-workers,

and i know what im doing is wrong, hurtful and unfair to her husband. I know

shes having marital problems because

she told me. I dont know how she might

react if i break it off, because she told me

she loves me. I know no good can come

from this, someone is going to get hurt. Please help

View related questions: affair, at work, christmas, co-worker, kissing

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2013):

How to break it off... Just do it. Say it and be done with it. How she reacts with it is not your responsibility or your problem. You know what is going on is wrong and up until now you have been thinking with your penis. Now, you are using your brain and your integrity is kicking in. Listen to it, and follow through.

Lesson learned. Do NOT get involved with someone who is married/in a relationship and cheats on their spouse/partner regardless of what their excuses are or who they are blaming to try and justify what they are doing. No matter what kind of feelings you are having or developing for this women, she is tainted and you will get hurt in the end. She is not someone you will ever be able to trust.

<-- Rate this answer

A female reader, raiders United States +, writes (4 May 2013):

raiders agony auntThe best thing you can do is break it off. Someone will end up getting hurt either her cause she has some feeling for you or you by her husband if he were to find out. Just break it off as soon as possible.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (4 May 2013):

YouWish agony auntAll you can do is break it off. There's no easy answer. Never date a married woman or a cheater, because just think about if she and you got everything you want and she becomes free and you were with her. Then imagine her cheating on you the way she cheated on her husband.

Your relationship is going nowhere and you know it, and since she has no problem doing what she wants no matter who she hurts, then ending the relationship is your only option. She loves you after a secret affair and 6 times having sex? To me, that almost says scam. Her marital problems are her own business.

She's also a coworker, so you are definitely threatening your career over this. Get out while you can and do it decisively, no wishy-washiness.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

Add your answer to the question "How do I break off an affair with a married co-worker?"

Already have an account? Login first
Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.0312599000026239!