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How do I ask my girlfriend to shave her pubic area?

Tagged as: Sex, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 June 2008) 28 Answers - (Newest, 6 February 2013)
A male United Kingdom age 22-25, *ench writes:

Hi there, as i've become more sexually active with my partner, i've wanted to try more and more different things with her.

However, she is very hairy 'down south' and I really can't think of anyway I could ask her politely, to shave her pubic hair.

I want to be able to 'go down' on her, but find it next to impossible to satisfy her with a mouth full of hair lol.

I mean yeah, I could just say 'can you shave please?', but I dont want to upset her, and it would be very embarrassing.

Would asking one of her friends to do it be a clever option?

I don't know how to ask her really, so any suggestions would be much appreciated.

P.S: Do Girls Prefer Men With;

No Pubic Hair?

Slighty Shaved Pubic Hair?

Full On Bush?

Other Please Specify ___ lol ;)

Anyways if you could help me out it would be great,

Cheers x x

View related questions: pubic hair

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2013):

Dumping someone rather than asking them to shave?

I think that's the dumbest most insensitive advice I have ever heard. Imagine if the poor girl was really into said guy and that was his only gripe? Sex doesn't make a relationship, it only enhances one.

I don't believe the presence or absence of pubic hair should have anything to do with how attracted you are to your mate. And to those of you saying the lack of it is unhygienic( if anything it attracts potential pathogens and bacteria), poppycock.

Personally i lasered mine and sex has only gotten better for me or the boyfriends ive had since i did it. Sex is actually cleaner. Let's face it, if you're actually attracted to someone for all the right reasons something as silly as pubic hair isn't going to be a deal breaker. If it is, its become a serious fetish for you and you need to see a therapist!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2013):

Don't bother to ask your girlfriend to shave or trim any hair off "down south" she does not like the thought of doing that, if you can't have oral sex, just try normal penis/vagina version, that way the hair acts as a cushion to sex. Most girls want guys to "have a full bush" just like the vast majority, maybe not so many men want women to have a full bush as well, although some men like you who want oral, might want their woman to shave.

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A male reader, almorr United Kingdom +, writes (17 November 2012):

Women in a way are the same as men, but probably not so fussy as we guys regarding pubic hair.

There are 2 types of ladies who do not shave or trim their pubic hair,

a) no way I am ever going to touch a hair down their, that type will never even trim 1 hair off.

and

b) the type of woman who has not got round to shaving or trimming any off because they are too busy or just forgot, these if asked WILL at least trim some hair off themselves.

As a man I am definately (a) but more men particularly ones over 40 have never shaved or trimmed any hair off from their private parts.

Oral sex has a lot to do with this of course, I can understand doing that is a lot better with no hair getting in the road.

My personal opinion is that oral sex is just unnatural, also, unnatural to shave down there as well.

I'm married and my wife and I have frequent sex, penis/vaginal sex, not oral, neither of us have ever shaved or even trimmed any hairs off our private parts, both of us have a full bush of untrimmed jungle like hair, very thick, this is probably due to our frequent love making, the hairs act as a cushion making normal sex absolutely wonderful.

So if you have oral sex, shave, penis/vaginal sex, just leave it natural and hairy.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2012):

i know where your coming from and heres my advice as i alredy spoken to my girl friend about this. one day after we been playing around a bit i said to her that i needed to talk seriously and then i said to her i know this is going to maby embarrassed you a bit and all but i enjoy everything we do however the hair down below tends to bother me a bit and then i said to her that she could choose to shave down below and offered to do the same if she like me to or she could leave it the way it was and i would not get mad . she got a slight bit embarrassed but she looked at me and she like i been trying to figure out how to ask if you like me to shave there with out being awkward about it for a while thanks for bringing it up

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A male reader, almorr United Kingdom +, writes (2 April 2012):

If I had a girlfriend who was very hairy 'down south' I would be very pleased, try to get used to the fact that she is a natural hairy young lady, I'am sure she does not want to shave, if she had, she would have by now, try and get used to her being, well, just natural and hairy.

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A male reader, almorr United Kingdom +, writes (17 February 2012):

I would never ask a girl to shave 'down there' if she has a very hairy pussy, all the better, I have never cut a hair from 'down there' ever, and I would be very pleased to met a girl who was like that as well, if you don't like her being hairy and natural you will just have to accept her for who she is or dump her.

When I met the girl who was going to my wife, she told me that she never shaved or waxed too, this was in the 80's, but now a days it seems that at least a quarter of females under the age of 30 like it bare. That is a pity for guys who like there girl friends to be hairy and natural, I'am glad that I am now 45, hairy and natural, same as my wife.

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A female reader, LLindy87 United States +, writes (6 March 2011):

LLindy87 agony auntmy new bf just asked me to shave my pubes, he goes "hey, don't get upset but could you shave down there?" and I wasn't offended...I knew I was a little lazy lately and its due to not having time and always being in a rush (even in the shower) and hoped he just wouldn't notice haha, I wasn't offended though. depends on the girl. I did tell my roommate though and apparently she thought it was rude of him, but she never met him so that changes things a tad bit

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2010):

Hi, just tell her baisically what you've said on here, i think she'd rather you told her but just dont embarress her. And ask her what she would like you to do to yours.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2010):

I gotta agree with a lot of people here. Asking directly(in a well worded manner)definately works the best. And remember, if it's for going down on her, birdynumnums said it best with the "landing strip". Getting a mouthful of hair sucks (don't ask) and if you were expecting her to return the favour, you'd best "clean up" for her as well.

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A male reader, witeboi420 United States +, writes (22 February 2010):

don't be afraid to be mean tell her your not gonna go down on her anymore if she dosn't its the only way to do it, and to your other question girls preffer it shaved

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A male reader, justincarin United States +, writes (23 November 2009):

whiteflower said it best. It's a 'we' thing and no telling her to do it. If you decide to shave, why not suggest you do it. Nice expensive shaving cream, respectable razor and shave with the flow of the hair. Wipe off remaining shaving cream, and have a very warm towel to lay over the entire shaved area for a couple of minutes. You will be rewarded!! After care: a high end hair conditioner used on the shaved area will prevent a lot of the itch (which over continued times of shaving, disappears), ingrown hairs, etc., as well as making everything soft.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2009):

just say these exact words

"omg it would be so hot if you shaved/waxed/immaced your bikini area, it would turn me on so much and think of all the stuff i could do for you"

will work a treat dude!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2009):

This drive for "bare pubic area" is actually mostly a North American (excluding Mexico and including some European Nations) phenomena. We learned about it in our Sexual Psychology class. You shouldn't ask her to bikini wax at some parlor because it has, on occasion, killed women. Shaving is extremely painful to a woman when her hair grows back. So I suggest either Laser her bikini area or she can go to a spa/parlor that is 100% reliable and get it done there. She shouldn't remove all the hair, the hair is there for a reason. It stops lots of bacteria and pathogens from entering her body.

How to ask? Well, if you haven't done so already or if someone is still looking for an answer, you might want to stress (like others have said) how it will satisfy her. Something along the lines of "I really wanted to try different sexual things and when I was suffering the web (reading a book, whatever) they said that a woman can feel maximum pleasure if she removes some hair." By just putting it out there and dropping a few hints she SHOULD get it.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2009):

When I first met my boyfriend, I wasn't shaving completely. He mentioned that he had shaved himself, and told me to try it too. No feelings hurt, and it feels great!

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A female reader, birdynumnums Canada +, writes (2 July 2008):

birdynumnums agony auntOuchies! If you shaved yourself entirely, you would probably not ask her to entirely shave herself again either - Because - when it grows back in, it's not fun! Actually, it isn't necessary to entirely shave the mons pubis, but if she got the sides waxed or trimmed into a "landing strip" and then trimmed her pubic hair length down to 1/2", then that should make it easier to have sex without her looking like a prepubescent girl or getting horrible scratchy, itchy bumps (BikiniZone helps...).

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A female reader, whiteflower United States +, writes (30 June 2008):

I had a boyfriend tell me I needed to shave down there. It hurt quite a bit. I don't think I completely got over it until a couple of years later. But! After we broke up, I started experimenting with different methods of hair removal until I found one I liked. I decided I liked keeping it smooth down there because 1) it makes me feel a lot sexier, 2) it makes me feel cleaner, and 3) it makes sexual contact more stimulating.

It's a good idea for you to say something to her. I think -how- you say it makes the difference. Don't tell her what she needs to do. Suggest it tactfully. I don't know if you feel sexual enough to watch porn with her, but maybe you could make a comment about how the men and women in the videos are shaved there, then say something like, "I heard the sex feels a lot better that way. Why don't we both try it?" Keep the "we" emphasized in there so instead of feeling like you're singling her out, you'll make it an experience you both could share.

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A female reader, No1AgonyAunt United Kingdom +, writes (30 June 2008):

No1AgonyAunt agony auntI personally think if you are close enough with her

you would be able to tell her.

I mean go nice about it dont just say you need a shave simply ask her what shes prefers on guys and shes bound to return the question and then say well i like.. e.t.c

I dont think its being horrible at all just what you

prefer and yeah lets face it who wants a mouthful of hair?

Well as a personall opinion i prefer hair there, but only a little of it, but dont shavee just trim it a bit, so answer? slightly TRIMMED =] x

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A male reader, Hench United Kingdom +, writes (30 June 2008):

Hench is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Ok guys, cheers for all your advice, i'm going to use a variety of the things you advised me to do, i'm going to ask on in two days time, (when im next seeing her), so wish me luck lol x x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2008):

If a guy took down his pants in front of me and had a completely shaved area then I'd probably laugh at him...

Some hair is sexy - completely bare makes you like you haven't hit puberty yet and theres something a bit weird about liking that.

Don't bring your girlfriends friends into bedroom stuff, she'll never forgive you or trust you again.

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A female reader, lexilou United Kingdom +, writes (29 June 2008):

lexilou agony auntWhatever you do do not mention it to her friends, she will be absolutely mortified and may never forgive you!!!

And dont do what a friend of mine did when he met a woman who didnt shave ANYTHING. He was so turned off by her armpits, bush and hairy legs that he turned up with a razor and some shaving gel. She threw him out and never saw him again.

I agree you should be able to talk openly about this, just be honest with her, dont make it out to be a huge problem. Just tell her that you end up with a mouthful of pubes and think she would also get more pleasure if you could see a bit more skin.

My hubby always lets me know if I've forgotten to trim it, after all I lead a busy life with three kids etc so sometimes it gets a bit wild. He will just say hang on while I get the grinder from the van, I know he's only joking as Im not even that hairy (natural blonde and my body hair doesnt get that bad really) but it never offends me, just makes me laugh.

He on the other hand is dark haired and Im sure hes part werewolf, so I like him to shave his balls and trim his pube area.

Good luck x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2008):

DON'T ask her friend. You should leave friends out of what goes on in the bedroom. That's none of their business and it might embarrass her.

Why don't you tell her that you would like to know what it feels like to have sex with a shaved "groin area." Tell her that you heard that it feels really good and you want to try it to see if it really does make a difference. I think that's a nice way of putting it without insulting her or making her feel like there is anything wrong with her.

And on the subject of guys shaving their pubes, I HATE that. I think it is an effeminate thing to shave down there. Guys who shave any part of their body but their face to me is not very masculine. But you could definitely trim just to keep it neat. But I don't like a shaved guy.

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A female reader, twisted United States +, writes (29 June 2008):

twisted agony auntYeah, you gotta say it in a way that it's a benefit for HER, not you. "God, I wish I could have better access to your ***** better, I could do so much more to make you happy!" Act excited about it, she'll probably do it without a secod thought, I know I did when I was 18!

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A female reader, Miss williamz Åland Islands +, writes (29 June 2008):

Miss williamz agony auntLol!!your are a fanny guy. Its simple try this.why dont you send her a text message asking her what She wants the next time you meet.how she would love it then in the process ask her to shave her pubic so u can access her honey pot preety good when you tell her that idont think she will be offended. Good luck and dont forget us let us know if it was a success.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2008):

Well, a guy before me had the joy of asking my current wife to trim her pubic hair, so I never had to worry about having to nervously do that. I guess I would just say something like, "Hey, did you ever consider trimming your pubic hair? It kind of tickles my nose." As to your second question, we both like the other to keep their pubic hair trimmed to about 1/2 inch or less in length. Not shaved. Keeps it from tickling ones nose, but it is not scratchy.

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A female reader, Miss sunshine France +, writes (29 June 2008):

Miss sunshine agony auntFirst of all I HATE GUYS WITH HAIR DOWN THERE. Obviously you cant give him the best satisfaction.. LOL. Anyway, my best friend was in the same situation as you so dont worry ill tell you what i told him, and with him it worked out perfect. Before i start i should tell you, do not even think to get a friend of her to tell her that. It is not polite at all. You should ask her yourself. Tell her that now you guys are sexually active and got really closer you would like for her to shave so that you can satisfy her the best. Emphasise (i hope i wrote that correct..) on that. Show her that you ask her to shave so that you can give her more satisfaction. It is normal in teenagers when they are on their first experiences to forget that they have to shave. If you shave she will do it too. Explain that it is easier for you and better for her. Do not say "be cleaner" that will offend her. Just say "if you shave it will be easier for me to satisfy you, which is very important to me to give you all the pleasure i can". After that i am sure she will do it and you wont have to dig in a jungle to find your way down south. haha!

Hope i helped!! :)

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A female reader, Livinglifedaybyday United States +, writes (29 June 2008):

Ummm that's a tough one. But you should be able to talk openly about these things. Telling a friend to tell her would NOT be the way!! Perhaps just have a talk with her telling her everything you want to do with her but your afraid that her hair might get in the way. Maybe she can just trim it and it would all be fine. I prefer for my boyfriend to be trimmed because I know how irratating shaving can be. Having it trimmed means I won't find any...unpleasant hairs in my mouth later. Lol.

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A female reader, taina1980 United States +, writes (29 June 2008):

I prefer for a man to be shaved or trimmed I mean hair, let's face it, its gross... shave yours first... tell her you think it would be way more satisfying for her if she had no pubic hair... my boyfriend does mine...just tell her she beeds to shave that is not as embarrassing as you think...

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A male reader, mustaine6 United Kingdom +, writes (29 June 2008):

DO NOT ASK HER FRIENDS WHATEVER YOU DO!

just try and slip it into conversation like ''well if you had a nice HAVEN then youd be more sexy'' or smething like that, and i think women like guys with a lil pubes, but not a full on bush (ps: trimming your pubes around your cock makes it look bigger, DO NOT SHAVE, TRIM.)

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