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How do I ask my girlfriend for sex?

Tagged as: Sex, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 July 2007) 12 Answers - (Newest, 1 September 2009)
A male United States age 22-25, anonymous writes:

hi i am a 15 yr old boy and i really want to have sex or at least get a bj from my gf but im to scared to ask her to what do i do

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2009):

Ok first off you should probably have more respect for women because they are not objects they are people, secondly I don't think the age at which you have sex at necessarily matters as long as you are 100% sure you can handle what ever the out come is, basically that means you should be able to get up off the couch walk out side get a job get an apartment or a house take care of a child, make sure said child receives an education, and lives a healthy life style. Now if you can successfully pull all that off you MIGHT be ready for sex but don't forget that you also have to be responsible, and mature, not so simple any more is it? See when you think about it sex is very very VERY complicated and can be difficult to handle that is why it is recommended that you be older before you have sex. And then there are STDs which you DON'T want.

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A female reader, Boatinggirl United States +, writes (6 December 2007):

ok buddy me and my bf got into that situation because I really at the time didn’t want to so he took me to a romantic spot and said to me that he loves me and doesn’t want to go to fast he asked if I wanted him and if you girlfriend really wants you as well ask for her bases for you guys and if you guys have made out and if she has touched you down there then to me you have passed first base ask her if she would like to move to second base or what ever bases she has next this will show that you care for the way she is feeling and that you don’t want to push her it has worked me and my bf last night asked me to marry him hope everything works out for you. if you nedd any tip of anything send me a message.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2007):

yo man i understand where ur coming from its normal. i think u need to get her comfortable with you and show her u care. Make her believe that u will do anything for her and that she is the only person u care about. and dont push it. ive been pushing it in my relationship and i need to slow down and catch up with the morality of liking a person and doing stuff with her its so much better.

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A male reader, theonirvana United Kingdom +, writes (4 July 2007):

theonirvana agony auntI think the way you're talking about this makes you sound shallow. You're talking like she doesn't mean anything to you. Your girlfriend isn't an object, she deserves as much respect as anyone else, and I think that if the very least you expect from her is a B.J., then you should really consider how good a boyfriend you're being. Women do not bow down to anyone, you can't just expect her to do this with you without any consideration as to what she might want.

You contribute toward the steryotype that all men are shallow, narrow-minded and sex-obsessed.

Try holding women in a higher respect than you do now, and maybe you'll get somewhere.

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A female reader, DIE-romantic. United Kingdom +, writes (4 July 2007):

DIE-romantic. agony auntDont rush her into anything, you could at LEAST wait for the legal age really, but mehh, drop hints or maybe see if you can take it a little further when you are kissing, if she doesnt feel comfortable or looks nervous, you know that she doesnt want to.

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A female reader, nikki! United Kingdom +, writes (4 July 2007):

nikki! agony auntyou should ask her or let little hints but dont seem like you just want sex let her now you want it to be special and want it to be with her dont just ask her for a (b.j)

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A female reader, love-him United Kingdom +, writes (3 July 2007):

love-him agony auntHey babe, talk to her, ask her if she is ready for things like that.. if not.. leave her be babe u dont wanna make her do anythin.. mail me if u wanna talk x x x

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A female reader, myp United States +, writes (3 July 2007):

myp agony auntBe open with her, tell her how you feel, you have to have honesty in your realtionship, but if shes not ready then dont pressure her.

#1 thing USE PROTECTION!!!

you do not want to be a 15-16 year old dad

ive got some friends like that...safe to say its not fun.

If you dont want to ask, then make out with her and see how far shell let you go, if she starts objecting then slow down IMMEDIATELY. If she lets you go all the way ask her before you take that final step to MAKE SURE shes ready.

best of luck

-Myesha

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A female reader, dollparts Canada +, writes (3 July 2007):

dollparts agony auntfirst of all 15 is to young to have sex and you have to think of the risks of..getting her pregnant or getting an std and pressuring her in to it will only show how little respect you have for her I say wait until your legally alowed to have sex

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A male reader, MistakenForStrangers United Kingdom +, writes (3 July 2007):

MistakenForStrangers agony auntWell of course you want sex- you're a 15 yrs old and MALE!!

The importent thing to remember is that you've got a load of hormones racing through your bloodstream which are going to be heightening this urge.

My suggestion would be to have an open, honest talk with your gf explaining this.

You really don't want to be pressuring her into something she's probably not ready to do, so take the time and become closer to her.

If however, you can't do this and it all seems to difficult, then my guess would be you're not ready...

The most importent thing in this situation is doing the right thing by her. No one ever died from waiting, belive me.

Oh...keep in mind the use of protection as well = )

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A female reader, norah Egypt +, writes (3 July 2007):

hey i think u r so small for thinking about sex u can only try to kiss her first and when u get much older ucan think about that

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2007):

Your 15...you wanna have sex ehh?? Or atleast a bj and your scared to ask your girlfriend? Dude , if your too scared to even ask ...that means you shouldn't be asking! Gosh 15...can't you wait!! Be responsible....go get a playboy and go "handle" it yourself until your old enough to handle the responsibilities that go along with sex.

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