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How do I ask her out without ruining our friendship?

Tagged as: Dating, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 December 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 13 December 2010)
A male Canada age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Okay so there is this girl who I have liked for over a year now, but we did not start hanging out until October this year. We talked in class (I'm in high school) but I never had the courage to ask her out. This year I started talking to her again (despite not being in any of her classes), through a friend named Mike. The three of us have gone to the movies a couple of times, sometimes with other friends as well. This weekend Mike and I went to her house and played hockey for a bit and just hung out. Her (I don't want to disclose her name :P) and I have never hung out 1 on 1 before, and she mentioned before she doesn't like 1 on1 things in a conversation (keep in mind she's a tomboy)

How do I ask her out without ruining our friendship? I like her so much and I can't stop thinking about her. Every moment I'm away from her I don't feel the same and it feels like my heart hurts. I've been terrified of rejection all my life, and I also don't want to lose her as a friend. I know people say there are more fish in the sea, but I've never felt this was about anyone before. Sure I've liked other girls before, but never this much and I don't even feel attracted to that many girls since I met her. Mike has been friends with her since grade 2, so I don't think he would ask her out, so should I ask him for advice?

I feel so helpless :( She is so beautiful, she loves hockey, she has an amazing smile, she has a great sense of humour, shes perfect. I don't want to lose her.

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A male reader, Danielepew Mexico +, writes (13 December 2010):

Danielepew agony auntI hope she also has a good temper :-).

If you want to get the girl, you have to take your chances and maybe get rejected. Don't worry, because that happens to everyone. It won't mean you're a bad guy, ugly, or whatever. It simply means that person doesn't want you "that way". Period.

What you have here is "play buddies" maybe, but I'm afraid you don't have "friends" yet. Why don't you try to befriend her and see if she likes you as more than "the cool guy, what's-his-name, er, Mike's friend...".

If you feel that she likes you, go for her. If she rejects you, well, you will still have Mike to play with. There's no other way to do it.

Tomboys are great, aren't they?

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (13 December 2010):

aunt honesty agony auntOk well this mike guy has knowing her for quite a long time, and if he is a good friend of yours and is trust worthy then yes i think it would be a good idea to tell him how you feel and ask him for your advise.

See what he has to say and what advise he has to offer and go from there. Just remember dont come on to strong to her just be casual. A friendship is always a great start to a relationship and am sure she might get the hint if you ask her would she like to go to the movies on her own with you or out for a bite to eat.

Goodluck.

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