A
male
age
30-35,
*uffster
writes:Me and my girlfriend of 4.5 years split up abaout 2 months ago. We have a 1 yr old son and we started working it out. Things were going good untell she started being mean. Then we didn't talk much for about a week and then I found out she was testing another guy. When I ask her about us she tells me we can't be together right now. Then I ask her if we will ever be together again and she tells me he's just nit right now. What does that mean? Do I give her space or do I show her how much she means to me and try to change her mind?
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male
reader, ruffster +, writes (31 July 2011):
ruffster is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for youranswers. I had a long talk with her today and got nowhere. I keep getting the same answer that she sees our family together just not right now. I don't know how to deal with it. She watches our son when Iam at work so I see her about everyday. I don't want to give so much space I never get her back.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2011): Telling you she can't be with you right now implies she might change her mind at some point in future. You can't be expected to hang around waiting for a day which may never come though. I think you need to keep things amicable between you for the sake of your son, but move on with regard to finding a relationship. And if she wants you to get back together somewhere down the line, whether you're single or with someone else, don't feel obliged to do so... she may be the mother of your child, but she isn't necessarily the right woman for you. Good luck and take care :)
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A
male
reader, GoodDog  +, writes (31 July 2011):
 I'd say give her some space for now and focus on getting on with your own life. Sometimes if you pull to much to get them back, you actually push them away.
It might be that she's just using this other bloke on the rebound on splitting up with you. Hard to say what's going on in her mind right now.
With regards to your child, I would suggest you keep contact with him. This is important - for him and yourself. Is there anybody who can help with the arrangements between you? You don't want to be going to see your son and then ending up with in a fight with your girlfriend about the relationship, etc.
Good luck anyway.
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