A
female
 ,
*teemo
writes:Does anyone find it hard to accept another mans child?How do you accept them without feeling jealousy?
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2006): How does one accept a person's children without feeling jealous? Like the previous poster said--one just does it. Jealousies are derived from a persons's insecurities within themselves, which usually come from a lack of self-love. So firstly, one has to work on becoming a happy, confident person. Feeling jealousies like this, is unfair to one's bf, the child and themself, over the long run. It takes a lot of empathy, compassion and maturity to be in a good, love relationship. And when a child is thrown into the equation, a lot more maturity, patience and understanding is required of a person.
One shouldn't compare a beloved's enormous amount of love/affection for you to the enormous amount of love/ affection they feel for his/her child. These are two completely different types of love and a person has separate places in his/her heart for those feelings.
So if you are experiencing these feelings yourself, know that what he requires from you, is your supportiveness and understanding. Do not project or interject one's negative, jealous feelings, into this relationship. That is a surefire way to cause this relationship to self-destruct. If I were you, try being a good friend to this child, try to gain this child's trust and establish a caring relationship. This is the only way, you can get around this. Because, the child is not going anywhere. I know when it comes to parenting there is that saying "Friends and lovers come and go, but you have your children for a lifetime" Either you get used to it or you move on, hun. Good luck and Take care
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2006): Children need a mother and father figure, especially when they're young and if you feel jealousy towards this child then you will never love him/her. Children aren't stupid. I know 4 year olds who can tell when adults aren't keen on children. If you can't get on with this child you may mistreat them and a child without love will be insecure in later life. Wait a few weeks, if the jealousy passes and you feel you can love the child as if he/her where your own then fair enough, carry on your relationship but if not, sorry but you'll have to drop it. Afterall, your man will always choose his child over you if he is a decent father. Hope this helped. -x-
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2006): You probably wont accept his mother or anyone else you think he`s close to either.Stay single.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2006): u just do, not for u but for ur man. do u love kids? dont u think everychild deserves a mom and a dad figure in their lives? if u cant accept the child then ur in the wrong relationship, u dont want to find ur self mistreading this child, and ur man will choose the child over u anyways.
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