A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I've been dealing with jealousy as one of the problems in my relationship lately. I try to ignore and keep it together but nothing is working. A few weeks ago, a girl randomly chatted with my boyfriend through Facebook and I got jealous because she messaged him a lot. I told my boyfriend how I felt and he told me not to worry about it. Now today, a guy I had a crush on years ago said hi to me at school and my boyfriend got jealous about it. I try telling him it's nothing but he made it a big deal. I don't know what to do. We've been together for five years but have so many insecurities in the relationship. Should I just give up?
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2017): How on earth have you been together for five years?
Your relationship hasn't grown-up since you were about 13 or 14?
Maybe you should separate and take a long break. You both want to date other people, but won't admit it. You hang-on to each other; because you can't stand the idea of the other being with somebody else. You've formed an emotonal codependency.
Your relationship still has the IQ of a pre-teen couple.
I don't suggest either of you should really commit to a long-term relationship with anyone for a while. Be single and just date randomly to get it out of your systems. You're together out of force of habit.
I suspect that you are the one most concerned about "making it last." That's why you wrote the post. Making it last a long time doesn't make it good nor compatible!
Maybe it has run it's course. Relationships in your age-group aren't supposed to be too long or intense. You should be dating a few different people to get more experience with personality-types.
At your age, dating should be a fun experience. Intensity comes when you know what you're doing; and you're mature enough to know how to control your jealousy and manage insecurities. It's human to be both, but childish when they get out of control. Nobody tells you how, you figure it out when you see it isn't working. So you stop and work it out!
You're not married, but you're trying to keep each other in-check. That's not a relationship, it's a competition and a power-struggle. Jealousy keeps you together, not love.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (13 April 2017):
 You both cannot be this jealous, it is suffocating and it will effect you both long term. You need to breathe in a relationship. So maybe spend less time together and more time with friends, give each other some space, and some time to miss each other. You have both probably fallen in to a routine. But if your age bracket is correct you have been together since you where very young so try leading separate lives as well as together.
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A
male
reader, Myau  +, writes (13 April 2017):
 I would say no. As its clear you both want to be together.
But maybe its time to give each other a bit of space. By focusing on "you stuff" you will be happier in your life and thus less possessive of him.
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