How can we restore the love to our eight year relationship?

A male age 30-35, *leicheal writes:

Long story short, I been in a on and off relationship for 8 years. We started dating when we were 16 years old. We were on and off after 3 years and she slept with 5 guys since then and I slept with 1 girl. Even when we broke up, we would still have crazy sex. We always had our problems but always wanted to end up with each other. Recently, both of us are starting to feel like the love is no longer there. We both love each other, but are not in love with each other. She described it as just being comfortable with each other but she doesn't feel the butterflies anymore. She also said she is no longer sexually attracted to me and its been 4 months since we had sex. I am still attracted to her but also don't feel the butterflies anymore. We both still want things to work out so we agreed to be friends and see where that leads, with no promises of it leading to anything. This worked before because at one time we didn't talk at all for a year and 5 mins after seeing each other again we had sex. Is there any suggestions for what we can do without having to risk losing each other forever, but to bring the butterflies back and bring the sexual attraction back. She said its not the looks, but also the way I've treated her throughout the years even though I don't do that anymore, shes just use to it.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (6 July 2012):

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2012):

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