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How can someone get out of a rut?

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Question - (10 July 2018) 2 Answers - (Newest, 11 July 2018)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I can’t seem to unlock or shake the code to happiness and I wanted to know how? I would not say I am depressed since I have been to a therapist and I have been prescribed meds which have not worked. I sit around and worry worry- or fantasize about a man - more money - better sex - the taken guy thag is paying attention to me at work etc

I don’t know what’s my problem - I was in a relationship and I wasn’t happy he was a jerk - I have money now but I’m not content - I work in consulting so it requires me to work non stop which is fine but I don’t have much of a social outlet

Does anyone have any tips on staying in the moment ? Being happy- my family member is fighting for their life - is ill and beffining for a chance to live and here I am complaining about life and feeling unhappy

How can I be happy? For me it’s only when men pay attention to me and when I drink and party

I would like to change

View related questions: at work, depressed, money

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2018):

How do I get out of a rut? I focus on what I love. By focusing on what I love, the rut loses all power.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland + , writes (11 July 2018):

aunt honesty agony auntWe all find happiness through different things, you just need to figure out what it is you want and how to get it! When you went to the therapist did you talk to them about how you are feeling? The medication helps with depression it doesn't however make you magically happy, so if you feel like you are not depressed then I would suggest coming of the tablets. If you worry to excess maybe you suffer with anxiety or maybe you are generally just a worrier, again your therapist can show you techniques on how to change this behavior. You say you fantazise about a man, are you single? If that is the case do you feel you are looking for love? Maybe it is time to put yourself out there and go dating? Dress up, pamper yourself, do your hair make up and nails, things like this can simply make you feel a million dollars. Again better sex might come with being in a commited relationship. If there is a taken guy at work then stay well clear, you don't want to be that woman that chases someone else's man, that will create a whole world more of problems for you in the long run! You say you weren't happy in your relationship because he was a jerk, so it could be possible that you feel deflated and that he has knocked your confidence. Did you talk to your therapist about why you might have remained in a relationship with someone who didn't treat you well? As for money, well be thankful you have some and try and think about the people who are on the streets tonight or cannot afford to eat! You are not content because you are wanting more. Maybe it is your personality or maybe it is an underlying phycological condition you have. Has things always been like this? I honestly don't think it is healthy to be working non stop. That can play a big part on your mental health and happiness. We work to live not live to work. Can you cut down in your hours or maybe try another career? It is not good for anyone to be working themselves to the ground! You may be unhappy as well because you aren't socializing. Going out and meeting new people and trying new hobbies is great for the mind and soul. Remember you need to take control of your own life. It doesn't sound like you are depressed more likely you are stuck in a rut and it is now taking its toll on your mental health. You need to take control of your own happiness. Try new activities, eat healthy, meet new people, join a new club. You need to get out there and take control of your life, push yourself outside your comfort zone and go beyond your boundries. It will help. I am sorry to hear that a family member is fighting for their life and I wish them a full recovery. You need to remember that it is okay to complain about not being happy, it is good to talk and express how you feel, but you also need to work on it and try out new things. Men showing us attention is nice sure, it gives us a confidence boost, but it shouldn't be a reason to be happy. Try talking to more men, being friendly and getting to know them. Drinking will only make you even more unhappy it is a natural depressant. As for partying well there is no harm in it on occasion. I love to go out and have a good dance and laugh. You need to work on yourself. Take small steps in changing your future.

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