A
female
age
30-35,
*afni
writes:i want to get back with my ex!we were together for a month but now that i saw him again,i miss him!we broke up after my decision and i don't even remember why i told him to break up!he is my dream man,and we had so much fun together!i really want him back!he probably won't want me because after i told him to break up,i started a relationship with someone else,and he probably hates me because of that,because i think he liked me a lot..he probably play with me if we ever get together again!..i don't want this to happen!..help!...
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2011): moderator note: it was unclear whether this was a follow up by the OP, or a new set of questions by a different poster. I am giving this poster the benefit of the doubt that it is from the OP. So OP : over to you if this is part of your thread. If not, i am sorry OP if this was not written by you.Hi,i am confused.My ex and I started a long distance relationship 10 months ago and we only meet each other every 1 or 2 months. we never know each other before that, hence we skipped the friendship part and get into relationship very quickly as we fall in love with each other at first sight.My ex and I broke up 1 month ago after we had a big fight over the same issue i.e. i said something that irritates him because of my jealousy or i want more attentions from him and he does not have time for me. we have been quarreling over the same issue again and again. we broke up 2 times but we got back together and decided to give it a try. until 1 month ago, my ex said he wants to break up because we're totally incompatible as we have been arguing over the same issue for the past 10 months. both of us dont understand each other's needs.I really think it's premature to make such a decision as now i am back for good and we no longer long distance. i really hope that he could give us a chance to try to overcome our incompatibility with better communication and understanding. Long distance and time are our barriers, but now long distance is no longer a barrier.He said our feelings have faded and he no longer loves me. The main reason of our break up is incompatibility. he wants to be single for the time being as he has been very busy with his work. Last week, we met up for the first time after our break up. i gave him a photo book which comprised of our happy memories. he was touched and cried very badly after seeing it. he said if only i could wait a bit longer and if only i could be more understanding.... he said he loved me so much and each time we quarreled, he was very hurt and pain.. he said he cannot take it anymore, he doesn't want to get hurt anymore... i failed to convince him to get back into relationship with me.Although he doesn't love me anymore, he said he still like to maintain a friendship with me. He continues to text me everyday to say good night and good morning, and will reply me when i texted him. Last night, we met up for the second time. i tried to hold his hand in the beginning but he rejected me and said we're just friend. during the dinner, we talked again and i failed to convince him back again. after the dinner, i asked him whether i can hold his hand. he held my hand tight and walked me to the car like a couple. he continued to hold my hand tight in the car until we reached my house. he then gave me a hug in front of my house. Subsequently he continues to text me good night and good morning like usual.My question is can i still win him back after he said we're over and he does not love me anymore? For your information, he's a stubborn typed of person and his self-defence mechanism is very strong. he'll back off the moment he senses something wrong. he said he has completely shut his door for me and asked me to move on to find another better guy who can give me what i want.I really love him and hope to get back together with me.Please advise.Thank you.
A
female
reader, Blue_Angel0316  +, writes (11 December 2007):
 If he really cared for you then chances are he still does. If the breakup was your decision then you have to be the one to set things right.
I think that letting him know you are still his friend is ok. You could possibly suggest going out sometime for a casual dinner or to a movie. I am sure that if he is still interested he will catch on that you are interested too.
Being a friend fist and taking your time in getting too close to quickly could have it's advantages. You will be able to tell if he is receptive to your feelings in time.
Remember though if he goes for it be sure it's what you want before you get too involved again. You certainly don't want to hurt him again. If he is your dream man then you need to get your head straight and no game playing.
Best wishes and Godspeed.
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A
male
reader, keith5 +, writes (10 December 2007):
 you should try talking to him again. you need to be his friend or you will never be in a good solid relationship. if you can be his friend and you become happier, than things will kick off.
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