A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:im in my 2nd year of uni and am livin wiv my best m8 but we ave a spare bedroom. we have always agreed (since we moved in in year 1) dat we wuld stay in the house wiv just us 2 but now suddenly she knows a girl off her corse who has asked 2 move in wiv us.in her defence, she did ask me if the girl culd live wiv us and didnt automatically agree wivout consultin me, but the way she sed it, i didnt ave a choice and felt like i culdnt say no as she had already told the girl she needed 2ask me but it shuldnt be a problem 4her 2move in. the fing is, and i know this sounds really selfish, i dont know the girl very well and on the few occasions ive met her, she neva bothered 2make conversation wiv me despite me tryin so i dont really like her. I dont want 2have 2spend my final year at uni tryin 2get 2know someone and learn 2live wiv them instead of studyin.how can i tell my housemate that i really dont want the new girl to move in (she wont be homeless, she has other possibilities) wivout actually coming out and sayin it and causin an argument. does anyone know of a way i can put her off of the idea? thanks
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2007): I don't think you should try puttin her off the idea through some sort of manipulation.
If you are best mates, then she will respect your feelings. Say exactly what you said here is you reason for not wanting to move in, she will respect you more if you are just honest. Don't use the word you, make it all about you, use I statements and then she won't feel guilty of slighted that you are angry or dissappointed with her for suggesting it in the first place.
Good Luck
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