A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes: I have a boyfriend who I've met online, we've been talking on messengers and on the phone for about 8 months now, and now we've been talking about meeting. But, he seems to think that we'll have sex when he visits. He knows I'm a virgin, and that its a huge deal to me to wait till I'm 100% ready, and i don't know if I'm ready since we haven't met yet, and you cant know without meeting face to face and getting comfortable with each other physically. How can i tell him that he shouldn't expect me to be ready for anything sexual, I've tried, but he thinks I'm just joking around. I guess hes not used to a virgin girlfriend(hes had a few serious relationships)? I've never even kissed a boy let alone let one see me naked! Thanks
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female
reader, Tisha-1  + ♥, writes (15 April 2008):
 If he thinks you're joking, then he's not a very good listener, is he? You must be absolutely sure he has heard you on this point and is in complete understanding and agreement with you. Frankly, I think it is unrealistic of him to expect you, a virgin who has never even been kissed, to jump straight into bed with him. How have those phone calls been going? Are you talking about sex a lot? What do you talk about?
When you do meet him, I strongly suggest you bring a friend along with you; if he's a caring and considerate guy, then he should have no problem with that. Be very careful, dear, people can present themselves any way they want online and over the phone. Do not meet him without friends and family knowing where you are, please.
Please take care, and do check back with us.
A
female
reader, BigSis  + ♥, writes (15 April 2008):
 See how the meeting goes first of all, you never know, you may suddenly feel that urge to rip his clothes off there and then....
....but seriously though, you can be strong and tell him that you just want to enjoy his company first of all, be up front with him, he'll probably respect you for not wanting to sleep with him on your first date.
These first encounters can send you off in all different directions....just go with the flow and see where it leads you. Be yourself, and if he insists after you've told him you're not ready ~ then he can't hold much respect for you.
Good luck and please keep us informed.
BigSis xXx
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A
male
reader, 09876  +, writes (15 April 2008):
 hey,
In my opinion, I think you should be very careful. Definitely don't have sex with him. You can only lose your virginity once, and its a big thing! I made the mistake of throwing mine away which I'm paying the price for now.
If he is a genuine guy, then he will understand and listen to you. He'll meet you and get to know you. He'll respect your feelings on the issue. If he doesn't do those things, he may just be looking for another "notch on the belt".
Don't ever let anyone make you do something you don't want to. If they do, they obviously don't care very much about you. You might end up regretting it, and there's nothing worse then regret because you can never change whats happened.
I don't want to sound mean, so please don't think I'm having a go at this guy that your obviously fond of. I'm a guy, so I know how guys think. His attitude towards your feelings paint a clear picture of his character, which I don't think is that caring or considerate, and you can probably do better.
Best of luck with your decision kiddo. Feel free to write me if you want any more of my advice.
Be cool
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