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How can I successfully connect with, and keep, new friends with good souls and good conversation? I seem to be losing friends.

Tagged as: Friends, Teenage, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 April 2017) 2 Answers - (Newest, 22 April 2017)
A female United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Lately I've been losing lots of my friends. I've been feeling very distant and annoyed by the people around me and i get very negative vibes from them.

My two best friends and i are already drifting apart,and their attitude towards me really changed. Everytime im around a group of people I feel that i have no energy to talk and i find their conversations too boring.

I don't know if im just outgrowing my friends or am i just going through a phase and just feel stressed?I get that feeling that i just want to cut off everyone from my life, go somewhere away from them, because i cant handle them and their attitude anymore. I just cant find an understanding, mature friend. And i cant stand the mind games from my friends.

I feel that i cant have a friendship with anyone,although i already know lots of people,but i don't find as a long term friends, just temporary.

I just cant find a friend with a good soul,a friend who has something interesting to talk about and not gossip, i just don't handle people's silly conversations.

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (22 April 2017):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntHang in there; there ARE good people out there. You just have to find them.

Also, to have a friend, you need to BE a friend. Is YOUR conversation interesting? Do YOU have a good soul?

I notice more and more that the art of conversation is dying out. People just seem to listen in order to respond - if they listen at all. I have heard so many "conversations" that consist of "me me me" then the other person saying "me me me". It is not really a conversation, rather two people talking about themselves at the same time.

Do you have any interests or hobbies that you feel passionate about? Join groups or forums where you can meet people who share your passion. This will make them instantly more interesting than the average.

For what it's worth, I feel exactly the same a lot of the time, especially with people whose life revolves around the latest designer handbag or how much they drank last week-end.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2017):

You sound a bit like me, I have a few friends that I see occasionally and that's all I want and can handle. It might be that you are better on your own if prefer your own company a lot of the time, but if you want friends who are mentally stimulating in the same way that you are, or that you'd like, then the best way I can think of is to go to where people like yourself would go. Where you will find people with conversation that interests you because it's about the topics that interest you.

So identify what it is that makes you interested and excited. What passions in life do you have? Travel? Politics? Business? Dancing? Animals?

Whatever it is that floats your boat, find others who have the same passions that you do. Go to evening classes, save up to travel, learn something new, support your local community.......the list goes on and on.

When you find what makes you excited and passionate then it will be easier to find others who think the same way.

You are still young and maybe you are more mature than a lot of your peers. Also you're obviously not interested in the topics of their conversation because it's too immature for you. Then educate yourself in what does interest you and leave your present friends behind. That whole set up is not working for you.

It doesn't work for me either. The whole incessantly 'going out with the girls and drinking wine' thing makes me cringe and I'm happier doing my own thing. Maybe you are too.

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