| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: Hello, i'm a 14 year old girl (nearly 15) with a 14 year old best friend. Her actions are driving me into depression.It all started 5 months ago when she got a boyfriend. In less than a week of them meeting they had done everything other than sex. When i found out about that i was really dissapointed with her, as well as upset. i was dissapointed mainly because they didn't even know each other and they were sleeping round each others houses getting up to god knows what.4 months later they were still together, yet now they had had sex. A week later her boyfriend dumped her because she was too violent and irritating, whenever they went out she would start arguments and would hit him because she is so possesive and paranoid that he's looking at other girls. A month has passed since then and they have been on and off 4 times, he keeps mucking her around by saying he wants her one minute and the next saying he's joking. They are now over completely.That girl is driving me absolutely crazy! Last sunday we all went out for the day just us girls, and her ex boyfriend turns up! Coincidence? i don't think so. We had a little argument with him because he keeps messing her around, and the next day she meets up with him and has sex with him and there not even going out. We have told her time and time again that he's not worth the trouble but she doesnt listen, and she's being so selfish that she doesn't understand the depression and anger it's putting me through. She's completely oblivious. She doesn't listen to any advice we give her yet she comes crying to us asking us what to do, but she still does what she likes.She's changed, and i'm actually starting to hate her. I feel like i don't know her anymore, and at the moment i feel like i don't want to know her. No matter what i do nothing gets through to her. And she's 14! she's not even legal.Please help me, i need to know what to do. Do i leave her because she doesn't take my advice anyway? or do i say everything that's bothering me in a one to one talk? Sometimes i feel like shouting at her will be the only way. I need your help.
View related questions:
best friend, her ex, violent Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, David Lewis  +, writes (9 October 2006):
 No problem, I hope all goes well for you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey, there. I'm the person who posted the original question. Thank you so much for the help. It's really made me think. When i sent the post i felt there was know way out and that i should just run away. But now you've made me see that she's my best friend, and i should be their for her no matter what decision she chooses to make. Even if i don't approve. Tomorrow i'm planning on having a talk with her, we are going to discuss all the issues bothering me and i hope we can resolve them. I'm just worried about her now really, because she's not thinking about the risks of all the sex she's having with him. She's still young and naiive so i'm scared she'll get herself into trouble. But as you said it's her own mistakes, after all she got herself into it and she can get herself out i know she's strong, as long as i support her all the way.
I'm so glad to hear someone else has been in the same situation, i'm also glad you found a way out. Let's hope i do to :)
Thanks very much
...............................
A
female
reader, Little girl x +, writes (8 October 2006):
 I cannot believe this.
The exact same situation has happened to me.
My fourteen year old best friend was doing the exact same thing.
I felt like you did too, i didnt understand why she was being so stupid and how she couldnt see through him.
My boyfriend helps me through it, and just when i was about to give up on her, he said to me, she needs you more then ever, who are you to turn ur back on ur best friend?
Thats when i realised, you cant stop her what shes doing, you just have to support her, she clearly loves him very much, i no its hard, but be on her side not against her.
I no thats hard but imagine losing your best friend and boyfriend in one month?
Thats what helped me.
xXx
...............................
A
male
reader, David Lewis +, writes (8 October 2006):
Firstly, I would like to congratulate you on being such a sensible young girl and wonderful friend. You are a credit to girls your own age.
I feel all you can do is carry on trying to support your friend and be there when she needs somebody. Let her make her own mistakes, but let her know that you strictly disapprove of her behaviour. I suggest having a private talk with her and tell her exactly how you feel and the effects it is having on your health.
To me, this girl sounds very sexually orientated and has little self respect. If you need to shout at her to get your point across, so be it.
Be there as a friend and support her when things go wrong, but don't try to force her into changing her ways because she could end up resenting you for it. You sound wonderful, but she may think you are trying to act like her mother, so try not to be too imposing on her.
Best of luck xx
...............................
|
