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How can I stop my masturbation habit? It feels like I'm cheating on the girl I love!

Tagged as: Big Questions, Cheating, Pornography, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 June 2007) 9 Answers - (Newest, 19 November 2010)
A male India age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I am in great problem.. please someone help me get out of this crap.. i am not able to have a firm control on my mind..

I love a girl a lot. and she too loves me a lot.. now a days because of some problem at her place, we are not able to be in touch with each other.

Since 6 years or so i have bad habit of mastubating.. i am getting into this s**t act now a days too much.. this is making me feel that i am cheating her.. i am now a days also visiting porn sites.. which i dont want to do..

please someone let me know what to do.. and how i can control my mind and stop my bad habit.. am feeling guilt for this..

expecting a early reply from you people..

Thanks

Steve

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2010):

Stop. Every time you think of it snap a rubber band on your risk

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2010):

Dear steve,

just stop it my friend.

There are lot of problem and u r engaged in this stupid problem.

Sex is not everything in ur life.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2010):

if you are adicted to masterbat ,then i will suggest you to put little extra efforts & do couple of things if that works let me know i will tell you few more that all will change your life in positive direction. First thing is that before going to bed take short shower and sit some where like couch ,chair ,on the floor just make sure place is not dirty sit just for 5 mins close your eyes and concentrate on your best holy or respected word u can also concentrate jesus or any holy picture in your imagination with eyes closed if u like u can also cocentrate the word "OM" when u done just pray GOD pls help me,then go to bed.Do this for 7 days & if u feel good continue untill this situation will go away .One more thing to remember when u wake up in the morning take shower & pray again Oh God help me & guide me to the right path . God bless u

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A male reader, oldfool Australia +, writes (17 July 2008):

oldfool agony auntMasturbation is not a problem. And it's good to keep your genitals and prostate in working order by masturbating.

It's not good if you masturbate in preference to having sex with her, but that doesn't seem to be the problem here.

Pornography is only a problem if it is used in excess or becomes habitual. I think that once you have your darling by your side, you won't need it any more. It's better to masturbate and watch porn than to go out and find other girls to get your release.

I wouldn't feel too guilty about all this. Just think of it as keeping in practice until you can be with your girl again.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2008):

My dear:

I have the same problem. Only in my case,my wife never like sex. I have been masturbating since I have started having erections.... which was longtime back. I had similar feelings as you but to control y urges I started back ... masturbating.

I agree with you ... it s cheating not only her (if she is loyal to you) ... but it robs you of girth and fun. You are not aroused so easily like before. Best friend for ou becomes your hand.

I am developing a super human mentality to come out of the same. Hopefully I will succeed.

I do like suggestion of putting a password for your account that you should not be able to access.

Being away from porn, keeps your mind away from thoughts ...

You are young and have a good life ahead of you. I sincerely hope you will be able to overcome.

Too many times, they project masturbation as beneficial and having no bad effects etc. But that is all bull. They should talk to people like me and see the effects it can have.

GOODLUCK .... STOP MASTURBATION .... HAVE A BETTER LIFE ....

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2007):

Of course masterbation isn't harmful PHYSICALLY but no one ever seems to consider the PSYCHOLOGICAL AND EMOTIONAL harm it causes. I'm married to a man who has been addicted to this habit since he could get off. Masterbation and porn it has ruined our sex life, harmed our marriage and destroyed my self esteem. It promotes instant gratification for orgasim, makes sex one-sided and selfish and makes it extremely difficult for a person to interact sexually with a REAL human being because it's not as easy as simply jacking off. Sex is meant for TWO and is supposed to be gratifying for both. So habitual masterbaters, seriously consider not ruining your future relationships and potential happiness.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2007):

To me i think masturbation is not bad at all when you do not have a girl who can provide you with those special need,but if you have a girlfried you need to tell her your problem so that she can help you solve yourself.Remember if you masturbate,its very hard for you to have sex with you girl within a period not less than 24hrs.one day she will ask you to submite youself but you will not be present since your body will be sexually satisfied.So in short i think its good to chill on that side to be on the safe side when it come to derivering

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A male reader, leonard j.Douglas Philippines +, writes (20 June 2007):

Hi! Steve.

Lets look at Masturbation, Okay. First off it's normal it's healthy and good for both gender.And most of us, engage in Self-Stimulation, Masturbation, of our genitals. The only time that "M" would be a problem, would be when it becomes the chief sorce of his or her sexual pleasure within a relationship. That would be the down-side of enjoying one's body. However on the up-side. Here is the good news. With mutual "M" you can teach each other how you want to have your bodies pleasured, Foreplay. And then when either of you focus your attention upon the others genitals, you'll know how to please oneanother.Also for lots of men, who have erectional problems, not getting their penis up or being unable to keep it up long enough to bring her to an orgasm, only Masturbational Reconditioning can address that problem. You see most men have taught themselves to Ejaculate, come, PDQ, Pretty- Damn-Quick. And we carry that Early- Ejaculation over into our relationships. But of course the penis is going to do what it has been taught to do. As for Porno, It has a place in the improvement of a couples sexuality, but it should be, but not always, a shared togetherness. There are times when us men need just a little boost in our sexual desire. And if our partner is the one who catches this sexual fall-out, I see that as a big PLUS, PLUS, PLUS. In any relationship. Hope this has been helpful Steve, Do enjoy your body and your gf's as it is also what humanness is all about.

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A female reader, YummyMummy United Kingdom +, writes (20 June 2007):

YummyMummy agony auntHeya,

If you really think porn sites are an issue why not as a close friend or somebody close to you to put a password on the age restriction internet settings that stops you logging in to mature sites. Or try going for a walk when you feel the urge to log on.

I don't see any harm in masterbation, but if you feel like its cheating on your girlfriend try and incoporate her in to sex a little more (?)

Can you talk to your girlfriend? She may be really supportive and help wean you off the masterbation and porn.

xxxxxxxxxxx

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