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How can I stop feeling inferior when my crush picked another woman?

Tagged as: Crushes<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 July 2016) 2 Answers - (Newest, 27 July 2016)
A female United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I am confident and know I have plenty to offer a man. However, this guy picked another woman over me and I can't help but to feel inferior to her anyway. My ego is a bit crushed. I saw a picture on IG of them together.

I feel like shit and keep wondering why he chose her over me.

I guess the rejection itself stings quite a bit and my imagination is running wild thinking of all the fun things they're doing together as we speak while I'm here wishing I got to experience that with him.

Yes, I know that in order to move on, I need to find a new guy, but right now I want to digest this rejection and feel a little better about not being wanted by this guy that I think is amazing. How can I stop feeling bad?

View related questions: crush, move on

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A female reader, miss frank United Kingdom +, writes (27 July 2016):

Hi. You start by knowing the major feeling you have is of rejection. Not the loss of what might have been, or attaching feelings to him that you ate now heart broken from..but plan old hurtful rejection.

Rejection is awful. It feels a judgement on us as an individual by another or others, affecting how we feel about ourselves. It can cut deeply, and usually does.

Now feel rejected and to know he's now seeing someone else- even more of an intense feeling will be over you right now.

Take heart in times when a relationship has come to an end before- an actual relationship, not a crush on someone you like, think about how crushing it is for the person who was dumped, and especially if it happened to you. Compare it with that. Where you've loved someone.. Now know this is about rejection not any great love.

Your ego is bruised. You may have feelings, but they aren't love. Human condition leaves us feeling awful and sometimes less of us than were were when we are rejected. It passes though. This will pass, and yes I would say distract yourself which may well include other male attention to help you feel flattered and stroke your ego again- you haven't been in a relationship so there's no need to' take your time' our' when you're ready' etc.

All these emotions will die down

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A female reader, Keeley345 United Kingdom +, writes (27 July 2016):

When it comes to relationships, we don't always end up with the person we like. Why? Many things go into making a relationship e.g compatability. We won't always be suited to the people we like and that's OK. But that doesn't mean NO ONE will be suited to us.

I've had guys I liked turn me down and end up with someone else. I too have turned down guys that liked me because I wasn't into them. Sure, they were hurt but what could I do? Date someone I didn't feel attracted to? They just weren't right for me.

But you mention rejection. It hurts to be rejected but its a part of life sadly and learning to deal with rejection is important. Its easy to blame ourselves for not getting with the person we like e.g maybe we weren't intelligent enough or attractive enough for them. But then again...we could be just right for someone else.

I've been where you are now so get how you feel. And you will get over this in time.

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