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How can I stop fancying my teacher?

Tagged as: Crushes, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 July 2016) 2 Answers - (Newest, 29 July 2016)
A female United Kingdom age 18-21, anonymous writes:


I am a 16 year old girl (going to be 17 in August) and I have just finished my first year of college. So there's this male teacher who I have the biggest crush on he's quite young (probably in his 20s). It all started as a miny little crush but as the year went on my feelings grew bigger and bigger.

I'm a very confident person and I'm not afraid to talk to people and make conversation. So this teacher has obviously seen me speak so confidently with other teachers and my mates. He has also seen me being loud and quite vocal. for example I will be talking to one teacher really confidentally and making eye contact but as soon as this teacher I fancy comes over and he decides to join the conversation I become shy and don't talk, I reduce the amount of eye contact and become Nervous. Sometimes me being nervous can come across as being rude as I can be a little blunt towards him, I don't mean to be I'm just scared.When I'm in his class I never ask for help from him, sometimes he sees me struggling comes over and asks if I'm ok (I'm clearly not as I'm finding the work such a challenge to complete) my body begins to shake, my heart skips and all I do is 'nod' to indicate I'm fine.

I want to stop but I can't. He distracts me during class time so I end up not doing any work as I am too occupied looking deep into his eyes.

i know I have broken of for the holidays but in my secound year of college I am obviously going to see him! this crush has lead to me thinking about him every day and me missing him. Even hearing his name makes my heart skip. I always try to find an excuse to talk about him. I always try to walk certain routes round the college grounds so that I have a higher percent chance I'm gonna see him even if it's just a small glance of him, it makes me smile if I do find him.

How do I stop having these inappropriate feelings for my teacher? I fear he suspects I fancy him. How can I control my feelings? Does he know I like him?

View related questions: crush, my teacher, shy

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A male reader, no nonsense Aidan United Kingdom +, writes (29 July 2016):

Aunt Honesty is absolutely right. You’ve got a crush and you can’t magic it away. Unfortunately you just have to learn to ignore it. At your age these crushes can be really intense and, yes, very distracting: anyone who’s been a teenager will be recalling a crush like this when they read it. He probably does know that you change around him and that you might have a crush, but he too can only ignore it. Don’t go walking the grounds looking for him, and try to consciously think about whether you are doing that. If others know about this crush, tell them to pull you up when you talk about him. The more you control the crush, the more likely it is to go. Crushes do come, get really intense, and then fade away. This is perfectly normal and not inappropriate. It’s just inappropriate to do anything other than control them if you can’t have the object of your affections.

I wish you all the very best.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland + , writes (29 July 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntHe might know that you like him, but that does not matter as I doubt he would tell anyone, and he won't act on it, as you are a minor and he would lose his teaching degree.

Now I know you have probably heard this many of times, but what you are going through is perfectly normal, you are a teenager and your hormones are raging. You will develop crushes, it is perfectly normal. As long as you keep in control of it and do not let it over rule you it is okay. As long as you know that nothing can ever happen between you and this teacher then it is okay to have a crush on him. Sometime when you realize nothing can actually happen you will find someone else to have a crush on.

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