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How can I stop being so negative and worrying all the time?

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Question - (16 November 2018) 4 Answers - (Newest, 21 November 2018)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

How can I learn to appreciate and be happy? I suffer from mental illness - I have been diagnosed with OCD and depressive episodes and overly just anxious. Although I have these obstacles it really is my negativity that is getting in the way and I can’t get out of negative town. I have my health and at least some of my mind but I’m miserbale. When I didn’t have a job - I prayed for a job and now that I have a job I complain about the job. When I didn’t have a man - I got a man. And then I was not happy with that man. When I had money I was unhappy waiting the money - now I am struggling financially and I have no money

It feels my life is a serious of worry events and thinking and worrying about what people think of me with just being miserable and never in the moment

I honestly seem to attract this also with people - the friends I have are negative - my coworkers are negative —and suprise I’m unhappy and negative

Has anyone broken this cycle - if so through what ?

I always plan in the future - if I have this - if I buy this - if I leave this - it will get better and it never does

I’m am so negative it’s disguisting - my ill sister in the hospital bed is more calm and more appreciative than I am

Any insight would help

View related questions: co-worker, money

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2018):

Apologies I'll continue....journal, hopefully will help me recognise why some days are better or worse than others. Elastic band on today, thank you Honeypie.

Exercise, sleep well, eat healthy, smile even if you don't feel like doing. Try to lower stress levels in your life, I find that exacberates anxiety and then OCD.

As Wiseowl says try and count your blessings and try also to work out where it came from and make peace with your past.

It's hard I know but I feel I'm making progress but always some bad days.

Good luck x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2018):

I echo Honeypie and her usual fantastic advice.jbn

I suffer from OCD thoughts and anxiety along with negative thinking, it's an almost daily battle.

I have bought Jeffrey M Schwartz OCD unlock the brain book, it's worth a read. I write in a journal

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (17 November 2018):

Honeypie agony auntI am diagnosed with OCD and anxiety as well, so I know how living with that head-space is like.

I did get help, CBT ( Cognitive behavioral therapy) and it did help giving me the tools to deal with these issues on a daily basis. Does it mean all is fine and dandy all the time? No. But I do think I have more control over the OCD than vice verse.

The anxiety can be crippling on some days. Again, I am getting much better at dealing with that too.

So maybe try CBT could be an option for you (and I would suggest finding a therapist who SPECIALIZE in OCD/Anxiety).

And I would suggest you find things that you ENJOY. You don't have to be great at them but learn to enjoy the process. yoga is something I have done for over 25 years, I do it daily, sometimes 30 minutes, sometimes an hour. It gives me such calm and peace. Even if my poses are sucky that day, or I'm not in a great mood.

So exercise is another good thing to add to your life on a daily basis.

The negativity... That one is really hard. My mom (who also suffered from OCD/panic attacks) were the MOST positive person I know. She taught me that if you TRY hard enough you can ALWAYS find a silver lining. So I do. And it does help lessen the negative thoughts. Plus the whole elastic band around your wrist thing can be very useful as well. You simply SNAP the band every time you go down the paths of negative thoughts. Seriously. My wrists were full of little bruises for a while but it was effective in snapping me out of the gloom and doom. Now I do it with "mental powers" and no longer need to snap the band.

Where there is a will, there IS a way.

Look at your sister and try and emulate her. Sometimes just "faking" being positive puts you in a positive mood or mind set. It takes time, effort and accepting that you will not be Miss Sunshine overnight.

Also, SET some reachable POSITIVE goals. For instance smile and be nice to people around work. EVERY days. When I have days where I DO NOT want to interact with anyone I MAKE myself do it anyways. And NOT be negative when I do so. And you will GET back POSITIVE feedback and interactions, which also can help the mood.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2018):

If you prayed and got a man, wouldn't it seem feasible you should ask for patience with yourself? You suffer mental-disability; and you can't feel thankful or comfortable when fortune finds you. It's the fear of loss and the inability to foresee the future. You've suffered some losses or mishaps in your life; and your mental-disorder amplifies the impact it has on you, so you become overcome with dread.

I'll let others provide the secular brand of advice; but I will suggest that you go to your source of religious leadership. Worship and prayer is also a good resource for comfort, peace, and spiritual-enlightenment. Your priest, imam, rabbi, or minister can privately consult with you to give you advice, counseling, and scriptural references to read and meditate on.

If you've been with the same therapist for years, but see little difference in your mental-health, or current therapies seem ineffective; do your homework and seek a new one. Contact the Psychology Department at your local university; and speak to the head of the department. Ask if they can recommend a counselor or therapist with good credentials; who specializes in your particular mental-disorders. They would know many local professionals who are familiar with the latest treatments and research; who may offer you better treatment.

You suffer from mental-disability; and you have to be patient with your own limitations. You have to take life a day at a time. You're cognizant of the symptoms that adversely-affect your peace of mind or quality of life. Seeking your faith, and the latest mental-health treatments combined will offer you more hope, and better health.

You are eager to change, but you have to know it will take time, patience, and determination.

You cause more harm to yourself when you allow frustration or impatience to overcome you. Don't hurt yourself, help yourself by forgiving yourself for those things caused by your illness. You can improve your quality of life, and you will overcome many things that ails you. Just concentrate on getting better, and set your energies on doing so. One thing people of faith shouldn't run out of, and that is hope!

Be grateful for all that you have, no matter how much that little voice in your head tells you not to. It may not stop, but don't stop resisting it when it says to do otherwise.

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