| A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I am scared of certain type of people, like those who are imperfect in their physiqie, especially fat women. I think they have a low self-esteem and it's a safe thing to not let them come close. Same thing about people with dark skin. I find them to be becoming jealous of me for being fair and would try to bully me. It has happened to me in past. Could you please advice on how do i handle my issues.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (19 February 2007):
 I think that this is a question that not many people on this site will be qualified to answer. I think you really need to visit a therapist, and they can help you sort out your fear and ease you into acceptance. It seems like you've got some deep seeded issues from these sorts of people.
I assure you, in time and with determination, if you visit a therapist or psychologist they can help you battle this fear. It makes me sad for you. There are several people of color or who are overweight that are lots of fun, make good friends, people, members of society. Once you battle this phobia of them, I hope that you'll find that.
Find someone to talk to, sweetness.
xxIndia
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (19 February 2007):
 I doubt if you can handle your issues without seeking professional counseling. Your phobias are not within the realm of normal and will affect your being able to cope in society. Pick up the phone book and find some help or ask your doctor to refer you to someone. Do it today.
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A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx  +, writes (19 February 2007):
 Everyone has issues and, no matter what some people try to tell us, stereotypes are everywhere. We all have, in our minds, the 'type of people' who are criminals and the 'type of people' who have low self esteem and are going to hurt us but we can't let these stereotypes take over our lives and affect the way we judge others, as many people you are putting into these categories will not be what you think they are at all.
Stereotypes can come from many places: our parents, people around us growing up, past experiences and the media. Although everyone has them to some degree, they can become a problem when they are making you feel as if these people are going to harm you. It's not fair on you or them: they may be very nice people and perfectly happy with the way they look!
I think you have issues that need to be talked over with a professional. You sound to have an ego which is running your life: nobody is jealous of you and nobody wants to be you. This is obviously causing you upset as you've wrote into us so get it sorted. Speak to someone to find out where these beliefs have come from and address that. Then, get out there and get rid of the stereotypes yourself by meeting new people and seeing that we are all human and most people don't want to hurt you because they are fat and you're not!
Good luck
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