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male
,
*ames1983
writes: im 22 and my girlfriend is 20. weve been together for 10 months and have been happy throughout until recently when problems with my trust and jealously have become incontrollable. we love each other to pieces and weve even talked about the future i.e. marriage etc and just being together. but i have serious issues with trust that i cant seem to get over. she has never done anything to hurt me and would never do anything and has never given me any reason to doubt her love for me. she has loads of guy friends and thats all they are, friends. its got to the stage now though, that were so close its hard to change he relationship. how can i build trust for her and know that shes not doing anything when she goes out for a night out? how can i stop being jealous just because shes with her friends? i hope someone has an answer to help me!!!
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female
reader, Ana183 +, writes (23 January 2006):
 Hi there... I can relate to both you and your partner...
I can relate to you because I too have insecurity problems even though I know that my boyfriend is devoted to me. My insecurities are due to past relationships where I have been cheated on etc... If that is the reason why you have insecurities, you need to try and forget about the past. The past isnt the present, and she isnt the girlfriends you've had before. You need to sit down with your girlfriend and tell her that you are insecure. Hold her hand while you tell her so that she knows its nothing she's done. you need to tell her the reason why but you also need to tell her that she hasnt done anything wrong. This is neither yours or your girlfriends fault. Dont blame yourself. You are not on your own, lots of people suffer from insecurities everyday. Maybe you could search on ebay for a self help book or something. Everyday you need to tell yourself positive thoughts about anything bad you are thinking.
I can also relate to your girlfriend as almost all my friends are guys. I have around 40 male friends and around 5-10 female friends. While I am with any of these friends, I never think of them in any sexual way at all, in fact, if I am thinking about anyone, I am thinking about my boyfriend and thinking how lucky I am to have him. The only reason why I dont hang around with as many females is because, well, to be blunt, women bitch! Not all women but a lot of women. All it takes is for 1 woman to be jealous, and she may bitch. I have had women bitch about me, and that has caused fall outs. This may also be the reason why she doesnt have many male friends. Perhaps you may need to ask her the reason why she hangs out with so many blokes and not women. I wish you luck in solving this problem. x
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