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How can I snoop on my boyfriend's cell phone to see if he's been looking at porn?

Tagged as: Dating, Pornography<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 March 2008) 14 Answers - (Newest, 16 September 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

How can I snoop on my boyfriend's cell phone to see if he's been looking at porn? How do you find out? Do you look at the Internet options on the phone? Please give me some help, I'm so nosy, but I don't want him to know I looked at his phone-ugh. Its a sprint phone... One time I accidentally accessed the web on his phone he got mad saying he would get charged for it? I'm just wondering if he looks at porn on his phone cause I made him throw out his porn DVDs he had, well most of them, I'm sure he still looks at something when I'm not around, but he doesn't on the net cause I spy on him. I got pissed cause I caught him looking at anal porn when I was gone on the net but ever since then nothings turned up, I do use spy software, so I know. Wondering what he looks at now and if it's on his phone?

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A female reader, scaterbreyn United States +, writes (16 September 2010):

i know this is an old post but incase anyone reading has recently stumbled upon this i just want to say that firstly a girl has every right to know EXACTLY what her man is looking at...other wise she wouldnt be his partner...but just a BOOTYCALL. in a relationship...there is no such thing as PRIVACY..privacy is for single ppl living the single uncommitted lifestyle..who no one has any business telling what to do. However, when u decide to be with someone..you dont need to have PRIVACY..when it comes to cell phones, computers..etc thats is fucking scandolous, stupid, and insane and all you stupid bitches who tell your man that he can have privacy..i laugh at that..those are the guys that come to the stripclub and bragg about how your dumbass gives him space..while he gives me his money and begs to see me outside. luckily, i look down on that type of thing, hate my job, and only go when im strapped for cash- but not the other girls..lol. Heads up "coolest girlfriend".. your man is using that space ur giving him. If you think its saving your relationship then u deserve every time he contacts his ex to check his chances of getting her back and ditching you. Be open in your relationship..keep no secrets..hide nothing..have nothing to hide..help him avoid fucking you over and becoming an honest person-honesty is what relationships are built on and yur not respecting yourself or him by condoning his "need" for "privacy". have you ever asked yourself what the need is(fucking seriously)? One last note.. guys...some girls who give you your privacy and expect you to reciprocate calling it "respect"...well they have a reason for that too.Others are just lame chics who r ready to be walked on by you in order to not be tagged as "controlling"- as is thats better than being a nitwhit. If your cant respect eachother enough to not need to keep shit secret then just breakup and find someone u want to show and share every thought feeling etc with. goodluck kids.

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A female reader, Jargenhunter United States +, writes (15 March 2008):

Dear original poster,

I'm so sorry that you have discovered this and feel inadequate. You need to understand that because your man looks at porn does not mean that you are any less of a person. Men are genetically wired to "spread the seed", as long as he is not living this out with other women in person, what is the harm?

Women are more likely to see and fantasize without needing to see it all play out. You see a fine male specimen and you can fantasize without needing to see a porn mag or movie. Men are more visual, and thus use porn. This is not a fault or inadequacy of yours. As I advised you before, please talk to your man and see his reasoning for watching.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

well I did look and found out he looked at porn . It made me so mad and make me feel so ugly . I do hate myself because he has to look at other women I'm not good enough . I'm only 28 ... I'm always willing to gave as with him. He used 2 be addictedto ass worship movies . I have a nice ass I workout to look good in that area. I feel inadequate now

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2008):

I accidently discovered my husband had been browsing on his cell as well. Go to view and history should be listed there. I almost wish I didn't know, because when you find out it makes you furious, and sick to your stomach. It makes you feel like you have to compete with some slut for your mate's attention. It is almost better not to know in that aspect. Be prepared to feel hurt if you do find anything. Good luck.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2008):

Oh God...

I'm a girl, and as a girl, I'm always oh so curious about what my BF does when I'm not around. But snooping is a no no!!! Never, ever!!! Why would you snoop on him? QWould you like him to snoop looking for something?

Really I used to be obsessed about him looking at pornstars, and me not looking like one. But then it hit me: 1) he hardly ever looks at porn, 2) he's a guy, ando no matter how much I whine or concern about who he looks at will make him stop 3) if he loves me, why stress over something that isn't even a problem? he's very respectful when I'm around. 4) he has his own personal time to do the things that he likes to keep private... just like I do, and I would hate it if he got in the way of that bysnooping.

Plus, in case he was checking out porn, are you sure you could handle what he's seen? If you'd get jealous or something, then probably not. why stress yourself with nonsnse? Sometimes ignorance IS bliss!!!

If porn doesn't get in the way, then why make it a problem? It's hard to overcome, it's hard not to feel insecure, but really when it's not a problem, it's not worth making a problem out of it.

However, if he refuses to have sex with you, then that's another problem that yous should discuss together.

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A male reader, Collaroy Australia +, writes (3 March 2008):

Collaroy agony auntHi,

sorry to say but you sound like the girlfriend from hell.

Why are you invading his privacy like this?

I think you need to look at your own insecurities instead of bombarding your boyfriend with them. You might find before too long that he will have enough of this and will look elsewhere for something more low maintenance.

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A female reader, duskyrowe United Kingdom +, writes (2 March 2008):

duskyrowe agony auntHey if you have such issues with privacy and trust. Let him look at your phone so he can see what you get up to also. No????????????? Well stop being such a nosy parker then !!!!!

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A male reader, Namatjira United Kingdom +, writes (2 March 2008):

Regardless of whether he is or is not using his mobile phone for porn, your attitude and spying on him is absolutely guaranteed to finish up destroying the relationship. So why don't you save you both some grief and all that effort trying to invade his personal space and dominate his life and just break up with him now.

If you want to keep your relationship with him, then first you need to admit to him how insecure you feel, that you have been spying on him and that you both need to see a relationship counsellor to address the issues.

Just think how angry you would be if found out he was doing to you what you are doing to him. You would probably want to rip his hair off. Well think how angry he is going to be with you if he finds out from anyone but you that this has been going on. He will still be angry when you tell him, and justifiably so, but he will be a lot more reasonable if you tell him than if he finds out another way.

It almost does not matter what may have happened in the past, you are going too far and heading for total flame out. Fix it now by taking charge of yourself rather than trying to control him.

I hope you get it sorted out okay.

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A male reader, maxsteel86 United Kingdom +, writes (2 March 2008):

maxsteel86 agony auntHey, you can check out the internet options section on the phone. On the later phones, they have a history section you can look up. But most phones atleast have a 'last page viewed' option where it'll load the last page that was on. Just look under internet options. As for whether your boyfriend is looking at porn through his phone, I can say its possible for sure. Firstly, you can get a data plan with your service provider which is a pretty neat way to browse the web without paying too much. Secondly, any phone with Adobe Flash on it can play all the videos from youporn (porno version of youtube) so yeah, I dont think you can really prevent that!

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A female reader, TasteofIndia United States + , writes (2 March 2008):

TasteofIndia agony auntHey sweetness,

If your boy was looking at porn on his phone, that would be pretty pricey! And such a small screen, what good would that do? I really doubt that he's checking out porn on his telephone, and if he IS then he must be really desperate to look at porn.

End of this story: I seriously, seriously doubt that your boyfriend is checking out porn on his phone. I don't know how you could check and see if he is without having his phone bill charged. I would just trust that he isn't and let it go. Please, sweetness... let it go. Let it go!

xx India

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A female reader, Jargenhunter United States +, writes (2 March 2008):

He is right, every time you access the internet on his phone he gets charged, so don't.

You and your guy need to sit down because you have some serious insecurities. You need to trust him, unless he was a horrible porn addict (all day, every day, not working)looking at a little porn is normal. Give him a little breathing room.

Looking at anal sex does not make him gay btw or a bad person.

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A male reader, Dave70 United States +, writes (1 March 2008):

Dave70 agony auntand why r u with this guy again? why is he with u?

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A female reader, hello1 United Kingdom +, writes (1 March 2008):

hello1 agony auntDon't do it. You sound really controlling

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2008):

wow what a nosey snoop you are im usually understanding in these situaions but you seem way too possesive love always trusts first but you seem to go WAY out of your way to try and see what he is doing sorry but the only advice i can give is go talk to a therapist about these insecurities you have.

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