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How can I set up my wife to meet someone else, so I can go on with the one I love?

Tagged as: Cheating, Marriage problems, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 October 2008) 11 Answers - (Newest, 27 November 2009)
A male United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

I have been seeing another woman for over 20 years. I made a mistake and got married to someone else and I am very unhappy. How can I set up my wife to meet someone else, so I can go on with the one I love.

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A male reader, blomeakiss United States +, writes (27 November 2009):

I don't agree with all of the negativity you are receiving from posters. I do not agree withthe infidelity, but there are legitimate reasons to stay in "dead end" relationships. I mean, I have lived in agony for years because of our children. My wife is a serious casualty and is the root of most of my difficulties. She is also an unfit parent and I can not stand the idea of leaving my children (2) with her. Not to mention the financial and properties we have amassed over the years. I would lose it all...not half...all.

So, do whatever you have to do. Setting her up is only speeding along her behaviors anyway.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2008):

Tell her you are no longer in love with her. Tell her you have been unfaithful and want to leave her. Promise to fund a trip around the world, or a year of overseas travel to destinations of her choice. Promise that you will support her financially till the day she dies. And leave.

She will be extremely unhappy, but you owe it to her to do this much instead of fobbing the bill for your wife's remaining years onto some poor sap.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2008):

I have been trying to do the exact same thing. if you figure it out please share your secret

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2008):

hire a male escort someone you think she might be attracted to. take your wife out two or three times like a lounge or a nice bar. have this "escort approach your wife while you are out retrieving your wallet from your car, phone call, bathroom etc. have him insist in buying her a drink (which will have to be paid by you (ie) expenses. do this on another occassion and have him show her a fake business card (ceo of company etc).. then have him proudly show off his "rented" bmw. and finally have him give her his cell number (prepaid $10 dollar phone) have him take your wife out to a few drinks then have him end the night by "just parking" his bmw by the public phone at the sleeziest motel and have hime tell you where he is "immediately" as you approach the neighborhood hotel.. you see them get out of the parking lot together.. and se la vi madmoiselle..

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A female reader, pashanoodle Australia +, writes (23 October 2008):

pashanoodle agony auntYou have stolen twenty years of someone's life - you know you have. Nothing you do will EVER atone for that, not in your mind, nor her mind nor the minds of any children you two have. You deserve to feel guilty - and here you are trying to wimp out of even that!

Time to face up to yourself - perhaps once the lying stops there will be a chance of recovery for you all. Certainly in time your wife will realise how LUCKY she is not to have you in her life anymore.

I know I shouldn't...but I have to say, what kind of woman is your mistress?? Something's VERY wrong there...you two should be very happy together.

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A male reader, Dr Vendetta United Kingdom +, writes (22 October 2008):

Dr Vendetta agony auntby the sounds of it your wife was the one who made the mistake by trusting your cheating ass.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2008):

wow! living a lie for twenty years. I ask myself? how can one lie for that long? and still want to carry it on by trying to set her up?

Maybe she already has had a sexy man on the side for twenty years that has been slipping in while you went out to work and put the money on the table. And maybe when she had a headache she had just had an orgasm in the back of his car while she went to the supermarket, or maybe on the eve of your wedding night she had a quick jump with the best man? or maybe she is secretly already married to another man, if you have children are you sure they are yours?

Not nice when the boot is on the other foot, all the lies and deceit and twenty years worth.

I always say follow love and your heart but MOTIVE is important.

Did you not have the balls to tell the truth years ago?

Did you opt for the easy option?

Did you stay so you never hurt the children?

Did you stay so you never broke your wifes heart?

Did you stay for money and status?

Did you stay because the other woman was not free?

MOTIVE? Who were you protecting or what? I hope all works out well for ALL of you in the end and that you all find true love and happiness. Quite right to let your wife have a bite at true love, but let fate bring her man not a deceit trick.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2008):

Hoping it is going to be easier to get a divorce? Hoping to feel less guilty or to pay less maintenance? Hoping that you can make her look like the guilty party?

Don't think I want to give you any ideas unless I know what your intentions are?

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (22 October 2008):

eyeswideopen agony auntTake her by the hand to the nearest and busiest restaurant, bar, intersection, or whatever and say "Honey, pick out any guy you see, any guy at all, and I'll try to get you hooked up with him." Or you could take nude pictures of her while she is sleeping and post them on the internet with a sign that says "Free to a Good Home". Hummmmm let me think there JUST must be a way to set her up....

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A female reader, hlskitten United Kingdom +, writes (22 October 2008):

hlskitten agony auntWha???? How do you marry the wrong person 20 yrs ago and still manage to be married to them?

What have you been thinking for the last 20 yrs?

If you want out, as ive said many times on here, go to the sports shop and purchase a pair of balls, and get out. Instead of fart arsing about trying to get the onus put on your wife.

Thats crazy.

C xxxxx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2008):

You shouldn't be trying to set her up in the first place.

You should've sat her down a long time ago and said that you weren't happy the moment you knew you weren't.I feel

sorry for your wife.She's been led on so long thinking that you were happy and loved her,but she's been cheated.

Sit her down now and tell her that you want a divorce and that you're not happy and that it will be better for the both of you.You might as well tell her about your long time affair too.

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