A
female
age
16-17,
anonymous
writes:I need help!I am really confused about this situation with my teacher. We used to get on really well and he had a soft spot for me; he was always very nice to me and i got the impression that he fancied me also because of his tendency to be a little touchy feely. However for a couple months now he been acting very differently. He seems upset with me all of the time, and he appears to be trying hard to treat me like any other student as he is just cold to me. I only catch glimpses occasionally of the way he used to be with me; it's like he's put up this wall. On friday just gone, he said to me 'I know you.... or atleast I thought i did'. I think this might be about my boyfriend; About beginning of December i told him i had a boyfriend and he was very angry and very upset, since this he has been acting differently. Do you think this is all about me having a boyfriend, and if so, how can i assure him that I like him and not the boyfriend that i had for a couple months. How can i get rid of the wall he has now built up around himself and be his 'lovely lady' again. :(
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female
reader, bubbloo24  + ♥, writes (16 February 2008):
 Mandy7 couldn't be more right.
IF you are in this situation, we can tell you what we THINK you should do, but no matter HOW many times we tell you, you're still gonna go do it arn't you? So I go back to something I said earlier - why ask the question if you've already made the decision?
Mandy is also right about your questions and answers being all over the place-
-This question is labelled " how can I reassure my teacher it's him I like??" Yet if you're already in a relationship with him, wouldn't he know by now?
- Does it really MATTER what he meant by " I thought I knew you" ? You shouldn't be TRYING to prove your feelings towards him if he's saying things like this.
You say you're not asking for advice, then why are you on here? You're NOT looking for advice anymore, are you?
You're just adding bits into it and changing your story a bit each time.
As I said if you ARE in the situation, you know what we think, we can't do anymore for you.
So I think you should just drop this, and do whatever the hell you want because you're not listening to us, you're just arguing back.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2008): Hunny,
Thats besides the point, The reason this man is acting this way is because he is not available, And he knows he is skating on thin ice, He used you while he could, No one wants to be mean and tell you your not going to stand a chance but hunny your not. He is in my veiw a big arsehole for doing this when he has a job that requires common bloody sense. And if you could just put yourself into his poor wifes shoes for a minute how would your feel.
He gives attention then takes it away when he gets scared and for good reason he could loose his family his job and his reputation all in one go. Think about it if he is capable of doing this he must be capable of doing it with other young girlS, Thats all im saying and I have a daughter and If this were her in a situation like this he would loose more than his job. IF YOU HAD CHILDREN HOW WOULD YOU FEEL THAT SOMEONE WAS TAKING ADVANTAGE! As this is what he is doing and he will carry on doing this to his wife as he is a weak man and he has got you hook line and sinker falling for it sweetheart. You do need to apologies to eyeswideopen for the way you talked about her. Its not nice to call names on people it only adds fuel to your already burning fire, If this is all true as you say then he is no good for you full stop, But you should not make others look bad just because you are feeling bad as then this kind of thing happens people wont belive you. your young yes but not to young to admit you have been a little all over the place with your questions and answers hunny
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm not hurt just irritated because people think; he;s a teacher that's it. It;s untrue he is a man, and anyways i was not asking u to help me 'get him' i already had him. Just is sayign that 'he thought he knew me' and i wondered whether anyone understood what he meant and how i can show he does know me. I know he likes otherwise he would not act in this way. I was not asking whether he liked me. I already know that. I just wondered if anyone knew why he was saying 'i thought i knew you'.I dont get angry coz im hurt, i was angry coz people were saying i was lying. Dont you get angry when people all you a liar?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2008): Going back to the original question, after what you have said about your parents having there own lives maybe you are looking for a father figure, But you wont find it here love you wont get what you want. To be trated with respect in life we have to give it and even though you may feel that others have had a worse life than you I belive we all have our fair share of problems and difficult times to overcome, No one can help you get the man, You have been told very nicely to start with that he is a teacher and its wrong.
There is nothing more that can be said, This is a help colume to guide you in the help you may require and hopefully ease peoples pain its not a magic wand. You sometimes have to accept things in life that you maybe dont want to and be gratefull to the people that have offered there time in helping, But at the end of the day like everyone you have to help yourself to grow and become a more understanding person.
Not a angry one when things cant go your own way, As life is not like that its a learning experience everyday.
And I do hope that from all this you have learned one thing, That is not to take out your hurt on others as it will only hurt you more.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2008): YEA AM I BOVERED! FACE BOVERED ! ME BOVERED! I AINT BOVERED!!!!!!!!!!!! Good one dusky u made I giggle BUT AM I BOVERED! XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (15 February 2008):
 We don't over here but in the case of this poor misguided soul the phrase would more likely be "Am I bovvering you"?
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A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (15 February 2008):
 Lol to eyeswideopen. I don't know if you get the comedienne/actress called Catherine Tate in the States. But she has her own sketch show with one character who is a 16 year old schoolgirl called Lauren with this catchphrase which goes something like this. "Am I Bovvered"? (Bothered).
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (15 February 2008):
Better be careful Dusky, or you'll be getting all my hate mail.
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A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (15 February 2008):
Hang on a minute, somebody pinch me please!!! Am I seeing things??? Did she actually state? "My parents couldn't give a toss of about what I do and who I am, they are busy with their own lives". I am sorry to say they should never have become parents!!! Mind you with a spoilt brat like this, they have probably are losing the will to live.
I have a daughter your age and if she wanted to sleep with her middle aged saddo of a teacher. I WOULD HAVE CALLED THE POLICE ON THIS CREEP AGES AGO FOR TRYING TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF MY DAUGHTER!!!!!
Ahhhhh!!!!! Now that I got that off my chest I feel better now.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (15 February 2008):
I'm sorry to hear that, but it does explain alot.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMy parents couldnt give a toss, about what i do or who i am, they are busy with their own lives.
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A
female
reader, hello1 +, writes (15 February 2008):
 Your parents must be so proud!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI wasnt asking for that kind of advice. All i wanted to know was why he was acting this way and how i could make him realize how i feel about him. I am not an idiot, as you may think I am. I know that life is not a bed of roses with him, it never has been, fact is i don't care about that. Why shouldn't i name call? She calls me a liar. Why would i come on here if i was lying? Think what you want about me but don't say those things about him; you dont even know him. So fine, if you dont want to give me advice? that;s ok. Obviously sociality hasnt evolved beyond this idea and still views things in black and white. I think that's ok, if this is wrong, its wrong fine; but i did not ask whether you thought this was wrong or a lie - frankly i don't care. fact is I am in love with this man, whatever you may say and all I wanted was answers as to why he may be acting this way with me whether anyone knew. He may be my teacher but he is still a man, and i may only be 17 years old and to you that is just a kid, but everything i feel and want is real and just because you are older than me does not mean you know everything, you dont know me. Obviously, if you did you'd know that i wouldn't lie about something like this. I should have known that society would not accept who I am. I am sorry for calling eyes wide open names but I despise being told i am dillusional. I am not a child despite what you may think, you know nothing about me I have been through alot in my short life and yes perhaps my problems arent as important as yours. This is my life, not a lie. So please insult me if you will, but do not call me a liar.
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A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (14 February 2008):
Oops sorry what I meant to say was having fantasies of having an affair with her teacher. Whatever !!!!
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A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (14 February 2008):
Ok Aunts, enough is enough. The more you give this girl attention, the more she will keep on going on about her and Mr Robinson (The Graduate) I think the nickname is rather fetching don't you?? Let her do what ever she wants with this pervy teacher, as far as I am concerned she can live happily ever after with this Sick Son Of A Bitch in their own little fairytale world. She will learn one day that life with him is not a bed of roses. Lets answer real letters with real people with real problems.
And finally to the young lady who is having an affair with her teacher. Why do you come on here and ask for everyones blessing? Its obvious whatever advice us aunts are gonna give you thay you are gonna do the exact opposite, so why bother asking in the first place.
I hope for your sake this guy does not break your heart as he is breaking his wife's by having an affair with a silly misguided little girl, who thinks its ok to shag her middle aged teacher. Have a nice life and Goodnight. Dusky xxx.
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A
female
reader, bubbloo24 + ♥, writes (14 February 2008):
Bring out the violins...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2008): I THINK THE FACT THAT YOU KEEP NAME CALLING HERE IS PROOF ENOUGH LOVE SO WITH ALL DUE RESPECT HER NAME IS EYESWIDEOPEN AND ITS VERY SUITED AS THEY SURE ARE
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWasting people's time? You didnt think i was dillusional until old fat eye started being nasty to me. How different, have you not noticed she is nasty to everyone on here yet? She gives the same answer to everyone. 'You are being dillusional'. I have alot of school work to get through I do not have time to concuct fantasies (i wish). It;s ok if u dont believe me, that's ur choice. But incase this is real please help me, i love him i dont want to lose him; you may not believe it but it is very important to me. ok?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWhy wud i report the man i love?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2008): if your teacher does like you then he is a pervert and you should tell someone your situation but you may have been exgarating and he might have not even liked you so you could get him into trouble for the things your saying and he could be classed a pervert so talk to him but dont let him do anything wuth him
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (14 February 2008):
IF what you say is TRUE (and it's been many more postings than 2) AND it's so VERY upseting to you, why haven't you taken all these aunts advice and report your teacher? I think we all know why.
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A
female
reader, bubbloo24 + ♥, writes (14 February 2008):
51? oooo well that's alright then(!)
Oh, married too? Even better(!)
What kind of point are you TRYING to make here?
I'll make MY point clear.
No matter how many times you try to change the story, we're not having any of it.
Maybe a question on here from you such as "How can I stop these fantasies?"
or
"How can I stop being delusional?" is more up your street? Hmm?
Or possibly "Should I stop wasting the people on dear cupid's time when a lot of people out there have REAL problems they need to talk about?" I'm sure a lot of the people on here could give you very quick answers to that one.
GIVE IT UP.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThese were this one, and the other one which was 'is it just sex, or does he have feelings for me'. And oh yeah he is 51 not 40. And, ive never asked how to seduce him? And thankyou very much, but im not delusional I am not the onyl one that notices his behaviour, he is on thin ice with his superiors. xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIve only ever posted two questions?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2008): You DO sound a little delusional...My mans father calls me 'sweetheart' all in good fun...but it sounds like you're twisting everything he says and making it all about you. Like you're...paranoid. I've had enough of these questions from you. This is the last time I ever give any 'teacher crush' attention...Pff. What a waste of time...
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A
female
reader, hello1 +, writes (13 February 2008):
Your really pathetic! why dont you find a guy who's single and around your age? blah go away
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2008): Thanks eyeswideopen you are a great agony aunt keep up the good work sweetheart xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (13 February 2008):
Well I guess that's two words but you get my drift.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (13 February 2008):
See what I mean? I rest my case. And of course that wasn't ALL she said either. But trust me on this, this young lady isn't the slightest bit interested in getting any advice except on how to seduce her 40 year old married teacher. And to you young friend you obviously didn't read all my postings I believe the word that is constantly repeated by the other aunts as well as myself is "teacher crush" which you refuse to accept. Now go study.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMy private message to the fat eye was to ask why she was on here because she never gives advice. I hjave looked a number of different teacher crush things and she always says 'its all a fantasy' that is why there are like 300 people on here asking similar questions? Wake up please
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A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (13 February 2008):
Now you come to mention it Eyes wide open. I have replied to this young lady on a few occasions and it is the same old story. I never had any fit teachers when I was at school, they all looked like The Nutty Professor lol.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (13 February 2008):
And boy oh boy she gets vicious when you blow her cover!
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A
female
reader, bubbloo24 + ♥, writes (13 February 2008):
Really? I thought something wasn't quite right... especially the fact that the questions didn't link in with the updates half the time!
Eyeswideopen, I've noticed your investigation work on the people who leave questions on here several times, keep it up! Lets us all know if it's not all it seems to be!
Thanks for letting us know!
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (13 February 2008):
HA HA HA. To the Aunts, I've chatted privately with this young lady. This just a little game she is playing, none of this has happened. She writes in with these little scenarios about a teacher every so often. She is not looking for help just getting a rise out of us.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes, I am ready for that.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2008): I still feel that you do not fully understand the consequences that come with being with an older man, especially one who has attachment problems...and who likes MUCH younger women. And who is married.
Are you prepared for your family's shock, dismay, and disappointment? Are you prepared for gossip, his angry wife (if she finds out about the affair he's having with you), people getting nosey about your business? Are you prepared for a man who thinks he can control you?
Are you prepared to be his 'lovely lady' and conform to his expectations and not have fun at parties with your friends? Who wants a teacher at thier party? Not me.
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A
female
reader, hello1 +, writes (12 February 2008):
HELLO? He's old! why do you want to go out with someone that old? seriously!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIve never once thrown myself at him, im a very shy person. And he knows this and likes this. He thinks I am a very classy person, and it is he who touches and gives me attention i have never done more than smiling, being nice, standing up for him and the occasional flirt.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2008): The older man my friend is dating is clearly taking advantage of the fact that she's willing and gullable enough to throw herself at him and give him the attention he craves. I fear your teacher is doing the same to you.It's time to move on. Time to let go. Don't waste your young life on this man! Get out and have some real fun!
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (11 February 2008):
Ahh you're back with this fantasy again I see. The aunts should save their breath on this one.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMy ex-boyfriend is 36
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female
reader, nicole5178 +, writes (11 February 2008):
 I agree with the other answers that point out that he really is too old for you.
But. I mean, I know when a person is going through marital problems or other problems, it puts stress on them. And it shows. Lots of times other people, like you, can be affected. Let's put down the pitchfork and assume the best before making false accusations. From the vague recounting of your relationship, you haven't really said anything that's conviction worthy. Hate to tell you this, but I'm not convinced he likes you like that. You obviously like him, so you're probably looking for things that could be construed in a romantic way.
So I would say talk to him, because there's a good chance he's not upset with you, but rather with something else.... Definitely talk with him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2008): I will be perfectly honest with you. It is a common problem a lot of girls face. Getting into a relationship with a much older man can have devistating effects on you emotionally. The attention he previously gave you and is giving you is NOT appropriate. He's jealous of your boyfriend and is FAR too old to be jealous of a 16 or 17 year old couple. He sounds like he has emotional issues (I have dated a guy with emotional issues).
A relationship with you could cost him his job and get him put in jail if anything sexual or provacative is found to happen between the two of you. And if it goes far enough, it can put him on the sex offender registry. Please enjoy being a teenager, girl! This is a time for exploration of yourself, meeting new people, dating boys, and living it up...not being concerned with weather your teacher still likes you more than a student.
If his moods affect your grades, ask him about it. To fail because of his mood-swings towards your boyfriend is goin way too far. That would call for a third-party's attention to the matter.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhmm I will tlk to him Nicole but i do happen to know a family member has not died, nor has he split with his girlfriend; as he is married. lol. Also he does think of me in that way.
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A
female
reader, nicole5178 +, writes (10 February 2008):
Pshh, ignore the hello1 person! I'm telling you, ask what's wrong, or you'll never get an answer for why he's being like this. It could have nothing to do with you, or it could have everything to do. He could just be going through some personal things, like death of a family member or breaking up with a girlfriend. If you want to know instead of just speculating, then ask.
I think my question to you is 'would you rather not know, or would you rather know the truth, which could end in you finding out that he doesn't think of you in that way?'
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