A
female
age
18-21,
*nonymous_NF
writes:I'm 18 years old and I'm still a virgin. I've been going out with my bf for almost 10 months now. The fact that he is 9 years older then me, I guess it's normal for him to want sex (he's a virgin too) and I understand that. We spoke a lot about this, I feel comfortable speaking to him and I guess I want the same. However every time we get to second base it feels like I can't relax and it feels like I wanna pull away. How do I get over the fear of having sex? How can I relax and enjoy it?
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second base, still a virgin Reply to this Question |
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2009): first of all only do it if your ready because once its gone its gone seriously!! and it will haunt you for the rest of your life.second of all please use protection.thirdly,try a nice setting like a romantic dinner in with all the bits like candles and music to get you in the mood have a nice glass of wine to relax you.do lots of foreplay maybe to get you in the mood?good luck chick.(and there really isnt eny rushh.you'll know when its time)x
A
female
reader, quiet-echo  + ♥, writes (2 November 2009):
 Pin point the source of your anxiety. Are you self conscious of your body? Are you worried about impressing him?
Demystify it. Read everything you can, there are many how-to articles and websites online. I might have a few links. Let me know if you need them.
Practice some relaxation and positive exercises beforehand. Sounds trite, but it works.
Be realstic in your expectations. You might be pressuring yourself to have intercourse. Instead work up to that gradually, over a period of weeks or months (whatever you need). If you know there is no rush, you might be able to relax enough and maybe you'll be ready for intercourse sooner.
Knowing the source of your anxiety is important.
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