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How can I move on? He had multiple social media accounts and took drugs and smoked!

Tagged as: Breaking up, Health, Online dating, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 May 2016) 4 Answers - (Newest, 4 May 2016)
A female United Kingdom age 18-21, *ettybuttercup writes:

Help me, I can't stop thinking of my ex and its making me really sad. I ended the relationship 2 weeks ago today (Sunday) because my mum wanted me to. He said he wanted to speak and then he started blanking me and I'm really confused. Today I was searching for him on facebook and he has kept his profile on his old account of me and him because he forgot his password. I found his new account and he has 30 friends and they're all female. I sent him a friend request but he declined it so I repeated about 4 times and he declined it. My two friends sent him a friend request and he declined them too. He has about 7 accounts which I found today. When I was with him he deleted every girl off his account except from his "girl best friend" who I think he fancied. Now i think he was using his other accounts to speak to other girls behind my back. He told me he hadn't been in a relationship for a year but I don't believe him. I think he lied and its making me angry. I miss him so much but he took drugs and smoked. I'm getting sadder each day. What can I do to move on and stop thinking about him? Please help

View related questions: best friend, drugs, facebook, move on, my ex

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (4 May 2016):

Honeypie agony auntI wouldn't, and I'll tell you why. IT doesn't matter whether he was or was not. It doesn't change how he treated you, it doesn't change a single thing. And.... you won't really know if he is lying or not.

Don't give him so much power over your thoughts.

Pretend he moved to Siberia, let go and move on. Life is too short to invite in people who are not genuine and who are JUST thinking of themselves.

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A female reader, bettybuttercup United Kingdom +, writes (3 May 2016):

bettybuttercup is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thankyou for your answers, he wasn't the right person for me. I really want to text him and ask if he lied to me about not being in a relationship for a year. Should I do this? Its really bugging me

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (2 May 2016):

Honeypie agony auntHow can you move on? By accepting that HE was a loser and your mom was right in suggesting you end it.

You can't move on because you CHOOSE not to. The fact that he blanked you, makes you feel like you have something to prove to him. YOU don't.

You CERTAINLY stop stalking his social media and sending him "friend-requests" and you STOP involving your friends in this.

He isn't contacting YOU back because he is moving on.

Think on it a little and then BE honest with yourself. Was he a good BF? Was he honest, truthful, caring? Do you two share a lot of GOOD experiences together? My guess is no. So WHY are you so desperate to chase him? Chasing a guy is NOT going to make him change or LIKE you more.

TALK to your mom. She seems like a sensible lady.

And maybe, you should wait with the dating till you have a better grasp of WHAT you want in a partner and HOW to have a healthy relationship.

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A male reader, Denizen United Kingdom +, writes (2 May 2016):

Denizen agony auntTurn you focus elsewhere. Get into doing things for yourself. It is painful now but it really will get better and you will smile when you think back. It happens to us all but we all survive, and we eventually find someone better. He is blanking you now so he can move on.

There has been a bit of a car crash but don't stand looking into the wreckage - drive on.

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