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How can I meet a boy who shares my interests and can be my friend, too?

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Question - (19 January 2007) 1 Answers - (Newest, 22 January 2007)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

lately, iv pondered that the thought that i dont have a bf maybe more my fault then the fact that there arent any boys for me.

i go to a very small high school, and there are only so many boys to choose from. lucky me, none of them are what i want. well except maybe 2 or 3. but thats it. anyway, iv seen boys that would be more my type, only on spontaneous occasions. the most that ever happens is the 'eye'. and as nice as that is, it doesnt mean that im ever gonna see them again. and i dont. because what am i supposed to do? chase the boy down the sidewalk?

once i went to a rock club in nyc and those boys, god. one asked me to go a party afterwards and hell, i wanted to, but i knew he didnt realize how young i was and i had to get back home soons anyway. besides, i wouldnt do that, not now at least.

and then i think, when im 18 and live in new york, i can go out and get a boy anytime, because every type of person lives there, my type included.

but thats 3 more years, and i dont want to waste those 3 years waiting till college in ny.

but sometimes, i wonder, if its not that theres no one around for me, or if its that #1: im way too picky and #2: that i block myself off.

im very shy, and have a hard time opening up. it only takes like 3 or 4 times that i hang out with you for me to open up, though and once i do, i tend to be really loud and such, so no, im not an overall quiet person, just at first. this hinders me, because i hate hate hate hate first impressions. im terrible at them. i hate them.

but anytime i think, hm, heres a candidate, my friends or family are with me, and i hate flirting in front of them. i hate that they can watch the awkwardness and such. i hate when they would tell me that this boy or this boy is good for me. i dont want anyone to hook me up. i dont like listening to other peoples opinion. once they tell me they think i should go after a certain boy, i automatically get it in my head that i dont like him. that doesnt normally happen.

i just want a boy where i could meet him in a situation where its not like: hi, im blah, blah, oh nice to meet you, and then talk about the weather and have akward silences. i want a situation where it just comes naturally, spontaneous meetings. i want a boy who will have the same interests as me, and who will be my best friend and joke around with me. i dont like showing my feelings in front of people. i dont mind if i see a guy, and say to my friends, hey hes really hot and then go to talk to me. not like thats happened. but i wouldnt mind. what i do mind is when my friends are like hey look at this guy, go over to him. or they know someone and are trying to hook me up. and i loathe when they do they same thing to a guy, and then things are awkward.

mainly, i want to meet a boy, with some spontanaity involved, some excitement and joking.

im so so so sorry if this is extremely long, because most of it is ranting. i dont even know my question, im sorry.

View related questions: best friend, flirt, shy

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A female reader, angelbbabe7490 +, writes (22 January 2007):

angelbbabe7490 agony auntmy advice to you is that maybe you should make a myspace. alot of people from your school im sure have them.. and you could add them as your freind and talk to them through there. it is a great way to make friends within your school and you could see who is interested in you by reading comments you get from them. you can also meet new people around your area but just be very careful on who you add as a friend! and im sorry if you already have a myspace.. becasue then this advice wont help too much!

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