A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, i need some helpI have just gotten into a relationship with a guy whos 19 (20 in november). I am 15 and turn 16 in december. Since getting with this guy I have become amazingly happy. We have spoken about the whole sex situation and have agreed to wait until I'm ready.The problem is my friends are all like eww it's perverted what does a 20 year old see in a 16 year old girl. How can I make them understand that he makes me happy? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Bekk +, writes (15 September 2007):
To be Honest I No There Your friends And Everything But If You really Love Him And Think Maybe Theres A Future You Shouldnt Care What Other People Think.If They Were Your Real Friends You Wouldnt Need To Make Them Understand They Would Just No.
A
reader, schlottjl  +, writes (15 September 2007):
 First, You do not need to feel bad about how you feel. The eww comments are all about him if anyone. You are the younger one and the underage one. You are also very close in age so you probably have a legit relationship. I am very happy to hear that he respects you enough to wait. (Very smart move too).
What people are reacting to is also predictable. When you are 20 you are in a very very different place than when you are 15. When you are 20 you might wonder what someone 20 could ever see in someone who is 15.
If the relationship is not sexual, keep it friendly. But also give people your own age a chance. your are at a really fun time in life right now. You need to enjoy each stage of life and experience all that it has to offer. you will be facing the real world soon enough. That is a very scary time. Sometimes people can't face it and revert to a safer and easier time. Many people will worry that if he is not taking advantage of you, and if can attract women his own age who will have more expectations (and should have more expectations- it is age appropriate, that he then is immature or does not have the skills it takes to become a man in the real world.
Guys know that if they are older, it is much easier to get a chick than if they are equal. Maybe he has lower self esteem. But what you cannot buy into is that you are any better or more desirable or more mature than others or in general because an older guy is into you. His interest says a lot more about him than about you. You are a typical girl with typical feelings. He is not and I am sorry to say that.
He could be just fine. But don't worry about what others say. Don't get physical if you do care about him and go very slow. In a few years your age difference will be normal.
...............................
A
male
reader, DJ8433 +, writes (15 September 2007):
 My grandmother was married at your age and my grandfather was 22. They were married until he died when he was 86. She never remarried and died at 95. The laws are different today then they were in 1922, but the human heart and love is still the same. If he's willing to wait until you are of age to have sex, then he will have proven himself worthy. If it's a quick roll in the hay he wants with an underage girl, I suggest you don't give him the time of day. Some warning signs that he wants a quick roll in the hay are that he tries to coerce or guilt you into having sex.
...............................
A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (15 September 2007):
 oops, I meant 15, not 13...the rest of the post still stands.-FBK
...............................
A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit +, writes (15 September 2007):
It is not about what makes you happy. In some parts of the world, he could be going to jail right now.What makes this seem creepy is that the level of maturity for a man about 20 is very different than that of a girl only 13. That being said, it makes people wonder what is wrong with him if the only woman that he wants as his equal is a 13 year old girl. -Frank B Kermit
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2007): to be honest i'm with them.. it does seem a little strange
...............................
|
