A
female
age
51-59,
*agdaxd44
writes:I asked a question at http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-son-wants-a-civil-partnership-with-his46.htmlSome updates:It wasn't my son's idea originally - Steve planned it, and their girlfriends are in the dark about it. But my son felt he had to go along with it.I know for a fact Steve is very money- and career-driven, and he seems to think about how to get every last penny, even in these tough times. We were impressed with Steve's work ethic when we met him, and that seems to have rubbed off on our son.My son says he and Steve are HLP (Heterosexual Life Partners) - http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HeterosexualLifePartners and http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=heterosexual%20life%20partner define the term.However, we're still worried about this civil partnership idea, it seems bad.How can we convince both him and Steve that this idea isn't going to work, and if such a thing did happen, would there be mass media attention [i.e. a media circus] ?All advice appreciated, thanks!
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male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify  +, writes (8 November 2011):
 look, this will come undone if they cannot convince those people that are condoning it. sounds like a legal quagmire.
unless this is some real sort of coming out. it's a possibility, but it sounds like there is poor communication on every side
this sounds confused and messed up.
take a step back and look at the situation logically
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2011): all you can do is give him the information in as neutral and non-judgmental and non-emotionally-laden tone as possible.if you come across as being controlling or wanting to tell him what to do he'll likely just shut you out and taint every word you say as nonsense.If you tell him the facts but without the sense of parental urgency or control, he might be more willing to hear it and even if he doesn't agree to it now he might at least hold onto it to mull over in the future rather than just chuck it out the window.but there's also a difference between 'educating' someone who is ignorant, versus trying to make them agree with your viewpoint. It could be that he knows full well the information you want to tell him. He's simply making a choice to do it anyway. That's a value judgment. there's this tendency to think "if someone doesn't agree with my viewpoint then they simply don't have all the information...if they were only educated enough they would surely reach the same conclusion as me" ...this is a path that can lead to no end in frustration for you. it may be that nothing you do will change your son's mind and you just have to accept that...some times people will only change their minds if they have tried and failed at some thing.
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