A
male
age
30-35,
*antheman92
writes:Ok so I've been together with my GF for 5 1/2 months and everything had been working until she went on vacation, but she's definitely not the type to cheat on me, she came back and was normal in every way except for sex. As soon as I touch her in an intimate place she gets mad for some reason. We used to have more sex on one weekend than we have since she's been back, and shes been back for about 4 weeks now, and when we do have sex she lays there like a dead body. She doesn't want to go on top anymore, she doesnt get her nails in my back anymore, she doesn't bite me anymore. I have no clue whats wrong. Doesn't she feel atracted to me anymore? Is the sex not good enough? I don't know. She keeps telling me to wait it'll come with the time, but how long am I supposed to wait? Well my Question is how can I make her want to have sex with me again like we used to? Is there any way to make her be attracted to me again? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2011): First off, you need to truly find out and make sure nothing happened while she was on vacation because those are all tell tale signs. If that is not the case, sometimes these thing happen. The ten months of mine and my fiancees relationship we had great sex multiple time a day as often qs we could get the privacy and time! but things died down. We still have a wonderful sex life its just more based on quality than quantity. And I know this isn't the same, but my point is be open to change and understand things change sometimes. Make sure you and your gf have an open line of communication, tell her how u feel and what your concerns are. It's completely normal and natural to think the way u are thinking right now and she.should understand. Good luck!
A
female
reader, person12345  +, writes (13 September 2011):
 It sounds like either she cheated on you on vacation or was assaulted or something along those lines. You need to talk to her about it in a non-accusing way to try to get her to open up.
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A
male
reader, soon567 +, writes (13 September 2011):
Yes you need to talk, this could all be regret at something that has happen. Only she could really tell you. i wouldnt accuse her of anything but I'll give her space till then.
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A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (13 September 2011):
 Before you can have sex again, you have something very important to do....TALK to her!
Have a conversation outside the bedroom. Do not ask questions about what happened to your sex life before, during, or after sex or when you hope to have some.
ENGAGE with her as a person and her emotions. If you approach her only because you miss sex, she will shut you out because she will think that is the only thing you care about.
When she does open up, and that might take time, let her know that you do not understand what happened to the intimacy you used to have. (Discuss the passion that is missing, but do not be just sex focused)
She is the only one that has answers to why she cooled off.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (13 September 2011):
Yep, the other advice says it all. Something happened on that holiday, and you need to find out what it is.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2011): First off, you need to truly find out and make sure nothing happened while she was on vacation because those are all tell tale signs. If that is not the case, sometimes these thing happen. The ten months of mine and my fiancees relationship we had great sex multiple times a day as often as we could get the privacy and time! but things died down. We still have a wonderful sex life its just more based on quality than quantity. And I know this isn't the same, but my point is be open to change and understand things change sometimes. Make sure you and your gf have an open line of communication, tell her how u feel and what your concerns are. It's completely normal and natural to think the way you are thinking right now and she.should understand. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (13 September 2011):
 sounds to me like something or someone happened on her vacation...
have you asked her what's up?
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