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How can I make him pay me more attention?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 February 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 5 February 2010)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

So my boyfriend of 10 months have been having some probems he does not really pay me that much attention, he spends all his time with his friends playing video games and such and comes home at around 2 in the morning from their house ( we live together) so now i have been going out alot almost everyday with friends would that make him pay more attention? have you guys ever tried that? what else can i do to make him pay more attention to the relationship and me?

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A female reader, LUFC United Kingdom +, writes (5 February 2010):

LUFC agony aunti was with someone for 10 months and left really unapreciated so i cheated on him whilst i was away on holiday but came back and told him that i wasn't in love with him anymore, i wish i hadn't done that!

You need to sit down and discuss things with him instead of playing him at his own game otherwise it will just carry on how things are.

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A female reader, dorothy2342 United States +, writes (5 February 2010):

dorothy2342 agony auntI don't think that is a good idea, I have found it doesn't work. You don't get to spend more time with him by not being there, you'r not going to be able to make him jealous and thats not what you want anyway. The best thing you can do is let him know you miss him and you would love to spend more time doing things together. Let him know it makes you unhappy feeling you are in competition with his friends for his time and attention. Tell him you want to set aside certain nights of the week for you two to spend time alone together. A direct approach always works better than head games. The video games with the boys is a guy thing, it takes time and effort to train them right. You may need to get a little ugly if the being nice and sweet thing doesn't work. But, you can catch more flies with sugar than you can with viniger. It may take lots of sugar, don't give up, it takes time.

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A female reader, pinktopaz United States +, writes (5 February 2010):

Yep, do what you are doing. Go out with your friends and start coming home after he does. Of course, this is game playing but sometimes you have to if talking to him hasn't worked and the last thing that will work is clinging onto him.

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