A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:DEAR CUPID! There's a guy at work I have been messing around with secretly for a little bit now. The thing is, he doesn't want anything serious and my problem is that I know this but still really like him... I think about him all the time .... I always tend to like guys that aren't so into me ! I text him all the time, he returns my text but he never makes the first move. I want to him to want me .. On his own if he doesn't I jus wanna move on . Please help!
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female
reader, Lexie88  +, writes (24 February 2010):
 He will never want you the way you want him to want you. He's getting what he wants without giving anything back or making a committment.
To most guys, girls who sleep with them and mess around with them without being their girlfriend, will always stay in the 'good to mess around with but not good enought to committ to' category. I'm not trying to be hurtful but that's how it is. When a man has respect for a woman and he has intentions of committing to her it usually doesn't start off with messing around.
He is using you and you should stop this as it won't lead anywhere. You're free for the taking and although it's not nice of him, he's taking what he can get.
You deserve better but it's up to you to realize that and make the choice to walk away. I'm sure he'll chase after you but don't give in. You deserve someone who will not want to 'mess around' with you before you're their girlfriend.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (23 February 2010):
 When he says he doesn't want anything serious, he really means he doesn't want drama, a needy girlfriend, and loss of his private life. A lot of guys say this when you trigger the relationship stress button in them. Then they go hook up with another chick and fall in love. I have yet to meet a guy who can be satified with just sex alone. Show him that you are fun and caring, and that he is better hanging out with you than being alone. Guys are also into girls who aren't so into them. If you want guys to want you don't make it sound like relationship is work, you have to do this, do that, because this is the right thing. They will withdraw.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (23 February 2010):
If he does not want anything serious, then you are heading for a lot of hurt. He wont' suddenly change his mind about what he wants. I think it's worth asking him where he sees all this going. If he says it's nothing serious, then move on. Don't let yourself be used.
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