A
male
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:I fear I've pushed away this girl I like. We shared a moment, and there was definitely a mutual attraction even if for a minute, but nothing long lasting became of it. I think I've pushed her away by still trying to be friends with her, but perhaps shes been reading this as something more.How do I show her I repect her and care for her, and am happy for nothing to happen (although this would be wonderful if it did) without seeming to push her away even more? Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2007): I think it's important to read between the lines. People often don't mean exactly what they say, especially in emotionally charged situations. Unfortunately however, we are often too close to a situation to have an objective view of it, which I suppose is part of the beauty of discussing these things with others.
Here's something to try: put yourself in her shoes. Imagine you are asked out by a girl you really liked. Close your eyes and picture the scene. Feel the way you would feel. What would your response be? What would you like to happen next?
Now imagine you were asked out by a girl you weren't so taken with. Again, close your eyes and picture it happening. What would your response be this time? And how would you like things to develop?
Under which of the above circumstances are you more likely to respond by saying that the two of you should be friends? And what would this really mean?
Your well-being does not depend on her motives. Take charge of your life, respect yourself and think kindly of this girl. All will be well.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionand how do i love her first? like i say, suggesting to do things even as friends hasn't worked yet... and i don't want to start bringing her gifts incase this appears way over the top!
...............................
A
female
reader, trueheartconfused  +, writes (2 May 2007):
Seems like you really like this girl and really deeply cares about her.
In my openion you did not do anything to push her away, you asked her out, but didn't really make any move on her , and did not ask anything in return, she is very lucky to meet a guy like you .
Give her some space to think for now, but don't give up ,
be persistant, give both of you some time,
let her know how wonderful you are , if you want her to love you , love her first , all human hearts respond to love, one day she will give in and love you back.
Best wishes
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthe problem is that moment involved me asking her out - but she said we should we should spend time together as friends, and i feel i've pushed her away a little by trying to be that... ie i suggested to do things a couple of times and shes always found a reason not to make it.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2007): He he. I can't imagine why you think you might have pushed her away!You are clearly interested in her. It sounds like you haven't been assertive about what you want. Believe she has every reason to be interested in you, which she may well be. Give her a chance to show you by inviting her out but don't expect anything from her and don't pin your happiness on it - your aim is to give her the opportunity to say what she wants. Remember that our well-being doesn't depend on anything anyone else thinks, says or does, which is just as well because we have no control over these things. Base your well-being on actions you can take. By asking her out, you'll be making it clear you fancy her. She'll respect you more for that than if you continue to engage in what must appear to be unnecessary procrastination.If she says no, no problem! I believe you could well be happy with that, since you will have the satisfaction of having done your best for both of you. Think about all the other opportunities there are to give your love away!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionbastard
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2007): If you're happy for nothing to happen, drop it. If you want to date her, ask her out. If she declines, drop it and move on.
...............................
|
