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How can I kick the habit of swearing?

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Question - (28 August 2011) 8 Answers - (Newest, 28 August 2011)
A male United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

How can I kick the habit of swearing? I feel very bad mannered and want to kick the habit alltogether but how?

I feel guilty everytime I swear but I need to learn to control my language before it comes out.

I find it really difficult because its become part of my everyday language and everytime I try to stop it just comes out without me realising.

Could hypnopherapy work? Or is it simply a lack of education?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2011):

Kudos to you for wanting to stop swearing! The fact that you realize how rude and impolite it is to swear is very important. I wish more people realized it. I really hate it when people swear a lot and it makes me uncomfortable, and of course I have no respect whatsoever for those people.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2011):

Replace it with learing a new language or make yourself a challenge to change each word into an interesting one.

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A female reader, RedAthena United States +, writes (28 August 2011):

RedAthena agony aunt*Get a swear jar! Tell someone about it that you trust who could use some extra change. Everytime you swear, drop a quarter, a doller, etc. Whatever it takes to feel the sting of "Gee that COST me!". Your friend gets to collect the funds at the end of the week.

*Rubber band on the wrist and pop it for each time you cuss.

*Word substitution. Frack instead of ....Sugar instead of....etc.

*Examine WHY you are swearing. Because you are bored, acting tough, lazy, frustrated, angry? Address what DRIVES you to swear rather than the actual swearing.

*When in convos with friends, let them know before hand that you are trying to conquer a bad habit and please bring it to your attention if you forget.

I doubt you have a lack of education. It probably has become a nasty habit. It can take 21 days of consistent effort to make or break a habit.

Give yourself a nice reward every week of being swear free, with a big goal at the end of 21 days.

Good Luck!

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (28 August 2011):

YouWish agony auntWow! First, I'm really impressed by you!

You're totally bettering yourself by looking to kick swearing, and you're totally upgrading both your opportunities, image, and self-respect by doing so.

So let me make it really easy for you. It feels overwhelming, but I'll tell you how it's going to work.

This is about breaking a habit and establishing a new habit in its place. That's really what it is! On average, it takes about 21 days (three weeks) to change a habit. See, not that tough!

The first week will be the hardest. Get a mindset that you're speaking to Mother Theresa, or the Pope, or the Dalai Lama, or a cute, innocent, 1 year old baby is listening to every word you say.

Then you take it one little day at a time. Each day you don't swear is a victory for you. Remember, you're shooting for 21 consecutive days without swearing. If you mess up, don't be too hard on yourself. Just dust yourself off and start again.

I would also advise telling those closest to you (wife, girlfriend, kids, parents) that you really want to curb your profanity habit, and ask them to help you. You might have varied reactions, but I'm guessing that many of them will be impressed as well. There might be a few people in your life who, like an acquaintance upon hearing that you're dieting, comes to the office with a tray of cupcakes, will try and sabotage your progress.

Also, try and practice a couple of phrases to use instead of expletives. You might feel stupid talking to yourself in the car, per se, but trust me, it'll help when you stub your toe or a driver cuts you off in traffic. You'll be training your mind to re-trigger your responses. Instead of saying "MOTHER F***ER!!!" when he cuts you off, say something like "OH COME ON!!" or "GROW UP!". If you get hurt, instead of a stream of expletives that would melt steel, just give a good, hard yell.

I believe in the "cold turkey with forgiveness" attitude. Go cold turkey, but don't shut down or feel hopeless if you mess up. Tomorrow you start back with a clean slate.

One person I know curbed his language around his family by getting a box. Whenever he spoke a bad word, his wife or son would call him on it, and he put money in that box. (usually $1-5). At first, he was shovelling out money regularly, but eventually, nothing was going in there. He then took the money (it was a sizeable amount!) and took the family out for a fun day.

Have fun with it, and you have my best wishes for success!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2011):

I'm from NY/NJ, so swearing is a part of my everyday life, especially the F word...though I had to stop doing this when I visited my ex's nieces and nephews...it was extremely hard.

For now, everytime I want to shout the expletive F word, I use "FUDGE!" Or "MotherFUDGER!" And "Shishkebab!"

Good fudging luck! You can do it.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (28 August 2011):

chigirl agony auntIt's a lack of a mother or girlfriend around Im sure. When no one is correcting you it is easy to forget ones manners, and it becomes an annoying habit.

Find a person to correct you, then you will soon get used to choosing other words instead of swearing. You just need someone around to go "hey, watch your mouth!" whenever you swear.

If people around you, or at your workplace, swear themselves or never corrects you, then it is quite easy to go deaf to it yourself, and start using bad words. The same goes for the wonderful habit of saying "like, like, you know, like" which so many young people do these days. If no one corrects you then that's how you end up.

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A female reader, maverick494 United States +, writes (28 August 2011):

It's a matter of willpower and discipline, my friend. I used to swear a lot when I was younger; a typical case of hanging out with the wrong people. It got so bad I couldn't complete a sentence without putting a foul word in it.

You can get rid of the habit by setting your mind to it. Whenever a curse word slips your mouth, force your mind to note it and vow to do better next time. It will take some considerable concentration as these words have become as common as everything else.

Don't try to go 'cold turkey' immediately. It won't work and as a result you'll feel discouraged, which will put a stop to your progress. Simply aim to reduce the amount of swearing bit by bit. Get your friends and family involved too--those who agree with you. With them in the game you're not alone and it helps if they're on their toes too, observing your language.

Try to beat this on your own first before resorting to other measures.

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A female reader, Abella United States +, writes (28 August 2011):

Abella agony auntBuy a Rogets Thesaurus and look up all the gorgeous words you can use instead of the limited number of known expletives.

And witty one liners are so much better than expletives. Look up some of the classic ones (no expletives) involving Later Astor speaking with (I think) to Sir Winston Churchill.

Lady Astor:"If I were married to you I'd put poison in your coffee"

Reply: "If I were married to you I'd drink it"

And here are some translations

WTF = translate to "what was that?"

any expletive = "annoying" "that's a bother" "irritating"

"bothersome" "asinine" "insensitive" "daft" 'boorish'

"crude" "bawdy" "amateur" "awkward"

Good luck!

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