A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I just started a new job a few weeks ago. Everyone has been nice to me so far... except one person. You see, when I met him I thought he was cool. He teased me a little and tried to make me laugh (it worked). But then it was like a switch flipped. All of a sudden he started being rude. When I would say hi, he wouldn't respond. So I stopped, I don't talk to him now. I am not going to make an effort to be polite to someone who doesn't deserve it. Today at work he smiled and said hi to me, then proceeded to be so mean to me that I cried after I left the room. Then he tried to get me in trouble with another department, and lied about it to make himself look good in front of the manager when the other employee confronted him about it, and to make *me* look like a liar. I did not bring it up with him, I don't want to be anywhere near him. I am not sure why this person dislikes me. How can I keep away from him when I am forced to work with him?
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male
reader, N91  +, writes (18 October 2018):
 Work places always have at least one dick.
Remember why you’re at work. To do a job, get paid and make a living right? So why are you letting yourself get into unprofessional situations? Yes, he’s an ass and he’s going out of his way to upset you, but crying at work isn’t a good look. As mentioned it makes you look like you can’t handle your feelings and pressure which doesn’t bode well in the business world.
DO NOT speak to him unless it’s work related. DO NOT get into situations where it’s you and him alone, if he tries to make that happen then leave the room, go back to doing your job. Other posters made good suggestions of taking note of all his disturbances or trying to record him giving you grief. Both would be good ideas if you decide to take this to HR.
The guy is a loser, he gets his kick out of upsetting people at work because he leads a sad life. Leave him to it, if he doesn’t get a reaction out of you it will more than likely stop. If not then that’s when you go to HR with your evidence of his bullying tactics.
A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (18 October 2018):
 Keep a diary and don't give him so much as the time of day. If he speaks to you, don't engage with anything else than a polite response. Be seen as professional at all times. Try to avoid being in situations where it is just you and him. Hopefully it dies down but in the event that it does not I'd be in contact with the employment assistance program, if they have one, to set up a mediation meeting to get to the bottom of it. I wouldn't be trying to do it one my own, especially when he has already lied about you prior. Stuff like this needs to be on record and witnessed. Good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2018): You're a new employee, so you have to concentrate more on your job than on your co-workers. Crying on the job would look like mental-instability; or as though you can't handle your work pressures. Hold-back the tears and behave like a grown-up. It's time you toughen-up and be professional. It doesn't matter whether people are "nice" to you; everyone has a job to do.
I'm a director of a large company. I'm familiar with these kinds of issues. You're a new employee; so everything you do about this guy has to be well thought-out and kept low-key.
I suggest that you have a private sit-down meeting with your immediate-supervisor and explain what happened; and at least get your side of the story told. Again, being emotional at work is not a good thing; because people showing anxiety and stress while still in their work probationary-period are likely to be let-go. They don't know you, or what you're capable of. So your work and behavior is being closely evaluated. Nowadays, employers also have to observe for any signs of an unstable-employee; for the safety of all the other work-personnel.
If you're being harassed, it's best to let your boss know right-now. You're 26, and you have to show maturity and professionalism; not fall apart or be oversensitive, because somebody is "mean" to you. You didn't explain what that means or what he's doing; but you're not there to make friends or enemies. He knows he can push your buttons, and he's toying with your emotions. Cut it out with the weepy childish-behavior, you're too old for that.
In the United States, harassment and bullying on the job is not tolerated. Nor is weeping and whining. If you feel you are being picked on and targeted; you report it. It could possibly get worse. He may lie to protect himself; and you'll end-up out of a job, or quit under pressure.
Tell the supervisor all the details about that lying incident; because your first performance-review may be effected by that situation. Tell the supervisor all that was said or done that was inappropriate. Stay calm.
From now on, no smiles for him. Just good morning, and normal courtesies. Discuss only work-related matters. Look him in the eye with no expression to let him know that you're not intimidated. Stay a healthy distance from him; and avoid being alone with him. Chances are, he has a history of complaints; but he's slippery. He knows how to dodge any detection, or wiggle his way out of situations.
If you have your smartphone nearby, turn-on the recorder. You can hide it in a pocket; so if he starts anything, switch it on. Do not have a verbal-exchange with him; let him do all the talking. Otherwise, unless you have to work side-by-side, have nothing more to do with that co-worker.
Keep a diary of each situation that he bothers you. Dates and times, and keep the names of any witnesses. If it turns out he's purposely targeting you; he could find his ass on the street. The employee you replaced may have left because of him; or he wants you to vacate the spot for somebody he wants to have the job instead of you.
If it was just harmless razzing, it wouldn't be so intense it could move you to tears; and lying on you adds another twist to it. It seems inappropriate for the workplace in any case. He hardly knows you!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (17 October 2018):
 1. Don't CRY in front of him. EVER.
If he is a TOTAL ass who likes to get new people in trouble and treat them like shit, DO NOT give him ammo to do so.. and CRYING is just that. That way he will know JUST how easy it is to push your buttons.
2. Just STICK to being professional and polite towards him, if he chooses to ignore you, that is on him and his immature behavior and DO NOT take it personal AT ALL. Just remind yourself that he is an ASSHAT!
3. As to why he dislikes you, who knows? And WHO CARES?! You don't have to like everyone you work with, you just have to be civil and work with them.
What did he SAY to you that was so mean it made you cry?
Because if that is going to be how he acts around you, you NEED to go to your supervisor and tell him/her what's going on with this guy. Same with the trying to get you in trouble with other departments, it NEEDS to be nipped in the bud.
IF he is a bully and gets away with it, it won't stop, even if you move job. It will just be someone else who gets bullied.
Just because you are new doesn't mean you HAVE to take crap from someone like that.
The person who is training you, that isn't him? right? If it's NOT him, I'd talk to that person and ask what is up with Bully McAsspants. (he might be a relative of the owners - or whatnot.
Some people are just not nice, doesn't mean you should let it affect you, your work - but it also doesn't mean you have to take what he dishes out. AT ALL.
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