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How can I help my sister deal with her BF and a potential LDR?

Tagged as: Dating, Family, Long distance, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 July 2011) 1 Answers - (Newest, 12 August 2011)
A male United States age 30-35, *hatonedude22 writes:

My sister's bf decided that he wants to move away to place A which is in state X. He is from place B which is in state Q. He felt that he was unable to accomplish anything in state Q and he has expressed how sick he was of this state and the people he surrounded himself by.

They are both 22 years old. He feels that where he is staying is holding him back from opportunity. He thinks that by going to state X, he'll be able to get into a community college doing the same thing he could've done in state Q and get a job all at once.

His best friend offered his place to stay for as long as he needed it. However, he is engaged to his fiance who is in the govt military and he will be joining her in 2012. So he will pretty have the house to himself, which is still not his.

Now, he and my sister were feeling like they could handle a long distance relationship, but she is feeling a little concerned and unsure because he was talking about how he does not want to return, yet they are still in a relationship. They both really love each other, for it seems like it. But would you leave someone, a lover, behind because of your personal problems that could be resolved out here knowing how you feel about them.

He had mentioned marriage , but they are so young, and she seems skeptical about that. She has her life together and he doesn't, she has a job, she's getting a car, she's at a college and getting ready to go to transfer to another university. But he is just moving away from his environment in state Q, but his situation is still the same thus far. He felt that his best friend will help motivate him to get better.

View related questions: best friend, engaged, fiance, long distance, military, university

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A male reader, Andy00 United Kingdom +, writes (12 August 2011):

Andy00 agony auntAs much as we would all like to help our siblings with their relationship problems, ultimately what happens will be down to she and this guy. If the worst should happen it will be up to you to help support your sister and get her back on her feet. Before that happens (if indeed it happens) I don't see how you can help this situation. In a way the situation is almost out of your sister's control, which means that it is entirely out of your control. All the advice I can give is be a supportive brother. Check up on her every now and again and see how things pan out.

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