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How can I get this other guy (''Dave'') to talk to me more? While also discouraging the other guy?

Tagged as: Crushes, Friends, Teenage, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 October 2015) 1 Answers - (Newest, 9 October 2015)
A female United Kingdom age 22-25, anonymous writes:

Hello, I'm looking for some advice on boys.

I have begun college and have started late so the others have already made friends.

My course has a higher percentage of boys to girls. One of the boys has started messaging me on Facebook and I have replied as I'm trying to make friends. I think he likes me as in more than a friend due to him constantly trying to invite me to his despite the fact we don't know each other very well (suspicious?)

I don't like him in that way whatsoever and I just want to be friends.i find him a little annoying as he gets mad if I don't reply to his messages. We haven't talked about our lives he just asked me if I was single then keeps asking me to go to his (I keep making up things to stop me going:work etc)

I'm a virgin and am not willing to sleep with this guy despite the fact it feels like that is all he wants. I want my first time to be with someone I love and know really well, not him

I have had a previous relationship that lasted 3 months (nothing happened) but it ended when he got mad at me for not going to party and sleeping with a girl as revenge.

Since then I've noticed that I really like my own space and feel like his constant texts violates this.

If anything I quite like his friend. When I've had lunch with him he's always been with his friends (5 of them) and he doesn't talk a lot but his friend does (let's call him Dave). Dave is more attractive to me and he has a similar sense of humour to me so I find myself laughing at him a lot. He's also really Dow. To earth.

Please help me get this guy to back off and get "Dave" to talk to me more instead

View related questions: facebook, revenge, text

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A female reader, Ivyblue Australia +, writes (9 October 2015):

Ivyblue agony auntHi there.

First of all good on you having enough self respect to be in control of whom, how and when you want your first sexual encounter. For what its worth I don't quite understand why they call it revenge sex when to me it just makes the op look spiteful. Hardly attractive. But in answer to your question, if you want this Dave guy to talk more then you will have to be the instigator of good conversation yourself. It's a two way street. Im sure these guys are not always joined at the hip so look for opportunities to catch up one one one. If you see him in passing make the effort to say hi and flash him a smile. Keep it simple. As for the other guy, thank him for his invites but politely let him know that its a personal rule that you don't go to the homes of boys you have just met. Thats not daft,its sensible. Chances are that if you show more of an interest in this Dave during lunch, the other one will get the message.

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