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How can I get these other 2 guys out of my head? They don't even like me and I already have a boyfriend!

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 February 2007) 3 Answers - (Newest, 20 February 2007)
A female United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

My boyfriend told me that if someone loves another person then you don't like anybody else, and i love him but i like his brother and this bisexual guy. i do not want to like his brother or the bi dude...

1)because they have girlfriends

2)i just don't want to like them

3)because it makes my boyfriend mad when i like other people

4)they don't even like me, they think i'm ugly

5)the bisexual guy thinks i'm annoying

So what do i do? i mean my boyfriend can get jealus but he's sooo sweet!he buys me really pretty jewlery, and he just makes me feel so good inside and out. so again what should i do? should i tell him about me liking his brother and the bisexual dude or not?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2007):

Well do you feel trapped in your relationship at all? Is there emotional or hidden abuse happening? It doesnt sound like it- otherwise it would be totaly expected that you sought out other guys- but sometimes love has nothing to do with it. You may just find you "admire" his brother and this other guy becuase they reverberate something within you- you may not even like them sexually, or you may be confused but it just might be some little thing that is intriguing about them that has you interested- it may not even be of a sexual nature.. Talk to them both a little more as well as your bf and explore within yourself what draws youto think about these two guys- they may jsut be puzzling, or you may jsut want their attention for no logical reason- and thats ok just dont drive yourself crazy over them.. hope this helps..

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A female reader, Psyche United States +, writes (20 February 2007):

First off I would say that I am surprised you are so involved with boys at such a young age. There is so much time for dating as we age, why not have fun with friends while were still kids?

Your boyfriend is wrong. Just because you love someone doesn't mean you automatically stop being attracted to other people. But I also think that being under 15 years old is way too young to be "in love." You are at a stage in your life where life should be easy and fun, not so serious. I know you are probably rolling your eyes at this response - I know because I too was once a pre-teen. But life gets harder as you get older. Relationships get more complicated. Why not just enjoy being young instead of playing house?

Don't tell your boyfriend you like his brother. It will break his heart and have lasting effects. If you can't stop thinking about the brother, then break up with the boyfriend and move on. If you love him - don't hurt him by telling him about other guys. THey are just fantasies.

I really really think you shouldn't date anyone and you should go hang out with your friends; ride a bike, go for a hike, hang out at the mall.

Good luck

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2007):

You should ignore the feelings...sounds dumb.

Basically what you're having is a i can't have them so i want them type feeling. Your boyfriend is good to you.

Basically what the real question is... Do you love him? if you feel any uncertainty about that question the best thing to do is think really hard about what you want from life. and what you want from your boyfriend. I've had the can't have them so i want them feeling too but my boyfriend is so good to me and i don't want to give that up.

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