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How can I get over this guy? Or at least no longer act like an idiot in front of him?

Tagged as: Crushes, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 January 2017) 4 Answers - (Newest, 11 January 2017)
A female United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Okay I need help with ways of coping when seeing the guy I like.

We work together and he's a young doctor and I assist him about once a month. Every time I see him I get extremely nervous to the point where my heart starts to pound so hard, I get out of breath, my face turns red, I cannot focus on what he's telling me when he's trying to have a normal conversation, it's just that I literally melt when I see him.

I cannot think straight and I start to act extremely weird and awkward. I think he notices and he's creeped out and acts a little cold towards me probably because my behavior makes him uncomfortable.

When he sees me he smiles from ear to ear and I can see in his eyes that he finds me attractive as well and I just wanna jump on him and kiss him. I think he isn't single tho I am not sure.

But whether we date or not one day all I want is for me to be able to no longer have the pounding heart and getting out of breath and nervous.

I'm literally MORTIFIED every time I think about the last time we interacted. I don't know what's wrong with me. If anyone could give me any tips to get over this guy or at least no longer act like an idiot in front of him please do :( I'm honestly tired of it. It's so embarrassing. Thanks in advance

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2017):

go out with other guys who are hotter than him / attract you more than him. you'll soon realize that there are hotties everywhere and he's just another one. maybe you'll date, but in my opinion a relationship always lasts longer when the chemistry has time to build. when we date someone we're extremely attracted to at the immediate onset (to the point of increased heart rate that you're describing), the chemistry has no where to go but down.

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A male reader, WiseOwlE United States + , writes (8 January 2017):

Focus on the patient. That's who you're there for. You have to be a professional at all times. The patient is watching you. That sometimes makes them uncomfortable, if not angry, to think they are in the care of what could be misconceived to be an unprofessional staff-member. The doctor is nice, but some patients aren't very nice! Or may be only to your face! I've been in the medical profession and I've seen it all!

A big smile also means politeness, and it's nice to see you. It doesn't necessarily mean I want a date. You don't have to wonder if he's single; he's done nothing but smiled and hasn't made any advances that would encourage you to act any way but like a well-trained medical professional.

No matter what is going on in the doctor's mind, pull it together before you see the patient. You jeopardize his license and practice if you're too busy ogling over the doctor, and losing it when you should be his most focused assistant. Considering you both get along well; but he may take a different opinion if you're acting too nervous and fumbling.

I do understand that he's a dreamy doctor, probably handsome, and very polite. They are often idolized for all the wrong reasons. His profession demands a great deal of him; to include being knowledgeable, have a good bedside manner, politeness, and to be courteous to his staff. Too many doctors get sued for malpractice, sexual-harassment cases from staff, or go before the medical board after being reported by patients or other staff. Doctor's offices and hospitals are real-life soap operas! More gossip and drama than you can shake a stick at!

I know you'll be encouraged by the ladies, nothing wrong with that; but I'm going to remind you to be professional. It's all about the patient!!! Mistakes can cost you your job, or the patient's life! Let him make the first move in any case. If he doesn't; then snap out of it, and be the best assistant he's got! Impress him!

Sweetheart, I'm not being harsh. I have to look at all different angles; so you'll cover all your bases, and your ass! I'm on your side too!

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A female reader, NORA B Ireland + , writes (8 January 2017):

What a lovely romantic letter.WOW.I do understand your situation,and how difficult it is for you to act in a normal fashion when he is around...you must be very much in love with him.However count to ten and try and remain cool.....because what ever chance you have in attracting him....you could spoil it..by being in jitters when he is around.This alone might calm you down.Give him time to appreciate you as a person and very focused on your job.But above all let him make the first move......who knows what will happen in the future.Best luck.NORA.B.

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A female reader, Nittynora United Kingdom + , writes (8 January 2017):

Nittynora agony auntOkay and breath ...............

I have been in your situation with a doctor too and I ended up marrying him so you never know.

Think this through you have been assisting him for a while so you could not have done anything too wrong or he would not have worked with you again.

Often we think we are acting strange and we are not. Its like that old saying about the swan on the water, on the surface the swan looks calm and serene but below water the swans legs are paddling like mad.

Don't worry about the acting cold thing, that's doctors for you they can be a moody lot.

Try and find out more about him whether he is single etc. If he is try to pluck up courage to chat to him, once the ice is broken it will get easier.

All I can tell you to do is take some deep breaths.

Hope you get your man x

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