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How can I get over my teacher when she is starting a new family?

Tagged as: Forbidden love, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 January 2008) 8 Answers - (Newest, 29 January 2008)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

My life is crazy right now. I was really close to my teacher just for a short while. NOT SEXUAL! We just kissed few times and we spent loadsa time together and now its over...well since before last august.

Even though it's over I have never ever stopped thinkin of her. she got wed n now i can just tell shes pregnant. I'm goin to ask her but don't know how!

I cant stop thinkin about it and i'm hurt so much that she has just basically told me to go away and started her little family. I can't believe how im hurtin right now. I even had a girlfriend till i started takin my anger out on her and she told me it was over. Now i have nothin, no mates cos I was with that teacher and they thought i was just a geek suckin up they didnt know wat happend. No girlfriend.

I spend all my time at home. HOW CAN SHE JUST FORGET ME! when she at school she sits at dinner facing me right in line and just stares non stop. But why i liked it at first winkin at her and that and now i suspect she pregnant.

I can't believe it. She was even starin at me today and smilin at me wen she knows what she hidin!

HELP ME!( dont give me all that illegal stuff i just wanna no either how to hurt her back or how to get over it!)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2008):

They say "the best revenge is to live well". It's wonderful advice. When someone lied to me and hurt me very badly, I somehow pulled myself together, forced myself to go out and do things (sport, window shopping, anything that would get me out of the house and among other people). Slowly life just got better, and I got over him. He seemed a bit puzzled that I was getting on with my life, and he seemed a bit hurt that I didn't need him anymore. So, it's true: the best revenge IS to live well. Good luck!

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A female reader, Love_is_all_youu_need United Kingdom +, writes (14 January 2008):

Love_is_all_youu_need agony auntI've been thru your situation, except I didn't have a relationship wiv my teacher - His partner used to teach at my school, she was such a bitch I really hated her! Anyway she was pregnant, and honestly - it broke my heart! Eventually she went on maternity leave and a few weeks later he took time off too - Because the baby was nearly due! I heard all about the 'new baby'. The whole of the school was talking about it for days - I used to just go home and cry! To make it worse, I heard that he proposed ROMANTICALLY to HER after the baby was born! At that point, I felt like der was no point in living without him!

Fast forward a couple of months, I'm fine... well sorta! I just gave him a note today, explaining how i still feel about him and I'll face the consequences of that tomorrow!! Even though i mite get into trouble with it, it makes me feel a whole lot better!

Anyway you can kinda see the similarities of mine and your situation! All I can say is that it'll get easier in time, when i was in your shoes I thought it was the end of the world but within time I 'didn't get over it' but I 'learnt how to cope' and I think with a bit of willpower, you can do that also! Its a rocky road and I honestly know how you feel, but don't try and hurt her bck because she isn't doing it to you purposely - It wont do you any favours!

If you wanna talk then mail me x

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2008):

Im 16 in 1 month n im leavin school in may so we shall no longer see each other n that is guna be the hardest thing for me!

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A male reader, emad khan Spain +, writes (13 January 2008):

emad khan agony auntI'm going to give it ya straight man! Basically, you're a kid, she's a woman. She knows that she can't have a future with you. Youre between 13-15, she's at least in her twenties, which means she's at the stage where she wants kids. She can't very well do that with you, right? She's an adult...

What do you do? You need to move on and accept the reality of the situation.

Pretty soon you'll meet a great chick, and things will work-out like their supposed to. Right now, FOCUS on your education (that will help you forget about the pain)- the more activities you do, the more your mind will forget about her....and eventually it will become a thing of the past. a good thing to do is to take part in some kind of group sport, rugby, football, or even martial arts...something like that.

You'll be allright man! take it easy!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2008):

By the sounds of everything, I think the first thing you need to do is calm down a bit. By taking it out and blaming it on everyone around you isn't going to help you feel better, by the sounds of how things went so far, its made things a lot worse.

I really don't think it'll be good for anyone if you tried to get revenge on this matter. Anything can happen except for making things right.

Getting over this would be the best thing to do, but you won't be able to move on unless you calm down and accept it. Once you've done that, just leave it be, and do things that you enjoy doing that won't evoke those emotions for a while. You can try to get back together with your friends, or try to make up with your old girlfriend, but if that's not an option for you, you can always meet new people.

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A female reader, honkifuluvnicole United States +, writes (13 January 2008):

honkifuluvnicole agony auntDon't try to hurt her back that is the WORST thing you could do to her. She probably feels pretty bad about what she has done to you.

Just be kind, ask her, but be respectful. Tell her that she hurt you by lying to you and keeping things from you. Tell her that you want to be her friend and comfort her.

Just be a nice person about all this. I'm sure if you were the one who ended it, and she was out to get you, you wouldn't feel very good about anything.

Best of luck.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2008):

Don't "hurt her back". That's childish. And if you've kissed/winked at each other, that could be a type of sexual harrasment. You should report her, at least for the safety of others. Look, if you're 13-15, this is wrong, and she has a problem. She needs to address it, or else she'll never be able to have a healthy relationship with her husband or anyone else. If you don't report her, though, at least talk to her and tell her that if she doesn't want to be around you anymore, then she should stop staring.

Get over her. You may not realize it now, but she has a problem and took advantage of you, regardless of how willing you were to be taken advantage of. She's wrong for you and doesn't respect you--obviously, since she's treating you like this.

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A male reader, Neboraic United Kingdom +, writes (12 January 2008):

I would need more evidence before concluding she is trying to hurt you. Sometimes we stare at things we cant have. I dont think shes forgotten about you, she just chose osomething else over you, a husband (and life partner), kids and to not be a criminal.

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