A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:I know this is a repost but I only got 1 reply, and I really need some advice on what the hell to do...cos I don't know...I don't think I can do this anynmore. It's all too hard, everything's falling apart. My mother and I have had huge arguements over the past couple of months, which has been really hard for me because I'm so very close to her and it feels like we're worlds apart and I cannot see how we can get close again. I think one of my friends is going anorexic, I'm trying to help her but shes pushing me away, adults know about it. I just want to be there for her but its hard when she keeps denying it and keeps pushing me away. People have been going on at me about my weight I'm 8 stone 2 and have been for 4 years, ok my eating habbiits are a little odd...but anyway.I'm at boarding school, I'm homesick for my home and other friends, I miss my hometown like mad. My schoolwork isn't going to well and it has to go well if I'm going to stand any kind of chance to get into a decent uni.Theres a guy who I really like, and untill recently he's been recoperating all the signs, but I saw him last weekend and it felt like me doing all the work, and he really didn't show much interest at all so thats that guy out of the window. Pitty he's the one I've fallen for, never felt like this before, and even dreamt about him. These are just a few of the things that are going wrong, I can't deal with it anymore, its all gone on for too long. I feel so alone. I've even thought about drinking to make it all go away but have come to my senses....I don't know what to do...
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (11 January 2008):
 Do you believe in the spiritual way? I will just state it here and if you think it is not applicable for you, just ignore what is written here.
Seek God. Go and join a local church and have fellowship with them.It will give you a sense of belonging in a family.Your life will go back on track.
When you feel powerless and alone...God can give you solace and peace.
A
female
reader, Mistify  + ♥, writes (11 January 2008):
 Dear girl
I'm so sorry for what you're going through at the moment.
My answer might seem a bit superficial at the moment, but it's the only thing i can tell you. Nobody will be able to tell you exactly what to do, to get things back on track.
Life really is like a roller coaster ride. The tracks slope up and down. This is the natural order of things.
You really have no other choice than to go along for the ride.
You will have wonderful UP's, and dreadful DOWNS, but this is all part of life.
The trick, is to accept the things as they are, when they are happening, because they are going to happen in any way... When you're feeling DOWN, you need to say to yourself, HECK, things are really bad at the moment, but you know what, it's okay, and i will be okay. Try not to fall into a depression, because all you will do, is to create a FALSE DOWN for yourself. Yes, you may be at the bottom curve right now, but soon, things will start looking up. And if you're depressed, you'll only create a FALSE DOWN, when things are actually going great.
JUST ACCEPT IT as a part of life, and don't go into effect about it.
Then, a more realistic view on your situations:
You are getting older now, so it is only normal for you and your mother to have a bit of friction. Remember, although you have a close relationship, you were still the child. Now you are becoming an adult, and she needs to let go, which is very hard to do. Just assure her that she's raised you well, that you love her very much, and that you respect her advice, but that you are grown enough now to start making your own decisions.
About your friend. I know that anorexia is a really tough illness to deal with. Maybe you should read up some more about it on the web, and see how you should treat her. She will be in denial about it. She might even think of herself as fat. Nothing you can say, will change her mind about this. BUT, you can always pray for her, always be there when she wants to talk, and always listen to her. Don't judge her, or blame her, or accuse her of ANYTHING. Just be there for her, and show her how beautiful and healthy you are, even though you eat enough.
I was also in boarding school, so i know how it feels to be away from everything and everyone you love. BUT, trust me, boarding school, is a really good way to learn to separate yourself from those things. It is a really good way to learn how to live by yourself, and look after yourself. I know it is hard, but i promise you, you'll be glad that you've stuck it out. You'll be more independent.
The guy you liked is obviously not the one then. This might be due to a number of reasons, but at the end of the day you have to trust that you will meet the right guy at the right time. It is hard to learn that somebody you like is not interested in you, but you'll have to learn to say: THEIR LOSS. Because that's what it is. You need to love yourself enough to know that you are worthy of love and attention (because we all are), and if this guy is not giving you the time of day, then good riddens.
Schoolwork - well i'm sure i don't need to preach to you about all this. You know very well what needs to be done. There is only one way to do better at school, and that, is to study harder.
Your stress might also be adding to the lack of drive you have at the moment. So - why not try and do something that relaxes you each night before you have to study.
Other than that (VERY LONG EMAIL) i don't have any more advice.
You seem to bottle everything up, and you need to find somebody to chat to, to get some of these things off your chest. I'm here if you want to chat.
Good luck with everything.
LOVE & LIGHT
-M-
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