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How can I get my boyfriend to make more of an effort in the bedroom ?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 April 2007) 3 Answers - (Newest, 4 April 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, *rspiginous writes:

How do i get my boyfriend interested in making sex enjoyable for me as well as himself? I have only orgasmed with him once and we have been together for nearly 3 years, everytime i try to do something different and interesting in the bedroom he say's he's too tired.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2007):

Perhaps he thinks everything is just fine, and doesn't realize how disatisfied you actually are. As hard as its going to sound, I suggest you have a serious talk with him- sex is a very important part of romantic relationships, I means it's what sets them apart, right? Tell him that as happy as you are with him in other areas, you really need to spice things up in this department, that it just isn't doing it for you. Approach it from the angle of an honest and sincere request for something you need from him. If he cares about making you happy, this will have a real impact and he will at least attempt to fix things. If he isn't willing to at least listen and try something when he finds out it's important to you... I hate to say it, but maybe you should move on to someone a little more giving.

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A female reader, neonpinkngooey United States +, writes (4 April 2007):

neonpinkngooey agony auntmaybe he says he is tired because he doesnt want to let you down. you should have a talk with him. it shows laziness on his part. i would be insulted if that happened to me. on a lighter note, you should try being on top. you know what makes you feel good, and you get to control what happens. this way, your bf wont be tired, and youll both be happy. good luck!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2007):

If he wants to make this relationship work then he's got to put in as much effort as you do into your sex life. Have a chat with him and ask him why he says he is tired everytime you try something new. If the answer is that he is worried about it going wrong then show him how to do it. Whatever the problem he has with it you'll probably find out if you are gentle with him, not using any shouting.

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