i dont know but i went through a few years if depression and i lost alot of freinds and i am very lonely, things started to get better and before i knew it, freinds were all gone, and im feeling lonely, and my depression is coming back , im pretty surenow i am trying to meet people, i joined a volleyball team, and i go to school, and meet lots of people but its more aquiantences then freindships, im starting to worry that im 23 and i am wasting my youth staying home and not experiencing life, and its bringing me down. i cant sleep with out taking gravel, i have no appetite but i really dont wanbt to go on anti depresents again, they didnt work for me, and did the opposite affect and i tried 2 kinds, and my doc thinks either higher dosage or they are not for me , so please dont say go on meds and see a doc, been there done that,things take time right^ im just feeling like everyone is experiencing life and im not and i am wasting my 20s, even tho i am contaslty asking people to do stuff and i try eveyr trick of thebookshould i let gop and just let things happen? am i trying to hard? please help and any stories would help me cope
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2011):Don't worry - it's a hard thing to get back into a social life and for some of us (self included :)) it doesn't come easily to start with either. I know it's a slow process, and that it's frustrating, but don't give up! And don't worry about trying to hard. Don't ask someone to hang more than a few times a week, and if they say "no" don't take it personally - they're probably just busy.
Don't be afraid to ask people to grab coffee, go to a movie etc, and try not to worry about whose "turn" it is. People are airheads and they're busy or lazy, but it doesn't mean they don't like you or want to go out. It can be tiring to be the planner, but it's the only way to be sometimes.
Sometimes I like to go out by myself when I'm stir crazy. I know it's not ideal, but sometimes when I'm lonely and can't find anyone to go out, I like to just go be around people - and who knows you may strike up a friendship by being a "regular" at a coffee shop or bowling alley or bar or wherever you like to hang.
Good luck and hang in there!
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reader, spinnaker +, writes (10 May 2011):It seems you have some interests that bring you some enjoyment. Depression is an abandonment of healthy perspective.
Using other people as a barometer for a fulfilling life is unreliable at best, dangerous at most. What kind of life do you wish to be leading?
I am a quiet kind of guy and many people I know are out vastly more than I. I struggled reconciling that for years until I just came to peace that I am a quiet guy who is not one to go out all the time. For as much as I wanted to go out all the time when I was younger - I hated every second of being in those places where for some reason I thought I was supposed to be as a young 20 something.
Take a seat and figure out the things that bring you joy and concentrate on those. Just because everyone is one way doesn't mean you need to be that way too.
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