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male
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jj0102
writes: How can I get back together with my girlfriend after I cheated on her?My girlfriend of a year recently dumped me after finding out I cheated on her with someone else roughly 5 months ago. I didn't tell her because I was afraid of losing her because of a stupid act of immaturity. (I would take it back in a heartbeat if I could.) She says she has forgiven me and we still talk every day, but she doesn't know if we should get back together. Is there anything I could do to prove to her I won't make the mistake again?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2007): you all gave great advice... i had the same problem! thank you
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male
reader, Lostandalone  +, writes (11 September 2006):
 Just be a great friend. Do all the things that she fell in love with in the first place. Now is the time for growth for you. While giving her the space and time she needs also make adjustments to yourself. You don't have to tell her about them just let her see them for herself. Time now can be your friend. Be patient and don't pressure her. Just be there and always be willing to take your lumps. It will be hard but it can be done. Good Luck.
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female
reader, Shannon  +, writes (11 September 2006):
i agree with david and ariel, she needs to see that she can trust you before she can decide if she can take you back
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female
reader, ariel + ♥, writes (11 September 2006):
 Hey JJ,
You have just learn't one of the hardest lessons in life.Not to polyfill up cracks and paint over them.Your little infidelity was a sign that you were not getting out of your relationship what you wanted.What you should of done was talk to your girlfriend,but because you are human you did not see the problem straight away only now when its over.
She feels let down,feels the relationship was a lie,does not trust you anymore,feels that you are unable to be relied apon to care and make her feel safe.She now wonders if you are lying to her in other words You need to make her believe that you are sincere.
Only she can decide if she wants to give you a second chance.If she doesn't you will have to accept things and take it as a learning experience.
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male
reader, David Lewis +, writes (11 September 2006):
 Just be a good friend to her and let the trust build up again. Dont pressure her into taking you back, just because she says she has forgiven you does not mean she trusts you.
She obviously still has feelings for you, but you dented her pride. Treat her well, be supportive and let her see the person you really are. She will soon regain faith in you.
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