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How can I finally have the guts to leave my boyfriend for good?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 November 2010) 4 Answers - (Newest, 23 November 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

My boyfriend of 5 years makes me hurt so much. Everyting will be going great;he shows me he loves me and rather stay in with me then go out but then all of a sudden it changes. We broke up for a few months and he admits he would mess around with many girls but when we got back together the girls would still txt or call him.he says its in the past and he dosnt speak to them anymore.but when I show him that I'm hurt or sad he turns it around and tries to say that I cheat on him etc..then of course I start to cry and instead of him saying sorry or comforting me he starts to call me names and tell me to shut up.if I cry more he tells me to leave his house. Then when I drive by his house his car is gone. He does this multiple of times. My friends all hate him and actually threaten to not talk to me if I see him. I love him so much but he drains me emotionally n brings me down. I know I need to leave him I just don't know how. !??? I've left him before but I always go back to him. We even try having a baby and plan to move in together.I'm scared that this will be a bad choice. Please help me

View related questions: broke up, got back together

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A female reader, largentsgirl89 United States +, writes (23 November 2010):

largentsgirl89 agony auntWhy do you love him? Why do you continue to stay with him even though he emotionally abuses you?

I know it's really hard to see what he is doing to you and be objective about it. Love is blind. I think you need to move on and break up with this guy, he doesn't sound very good for you and even your friends see it.

18-21 years old, you have your entire life ahead of you, do you honestly want to spend the rest of it or anymore of your time for that matter putting up with this crap?

You can find someone who will treat you a lot better. Someone who will comfort you when you are crying and care that you are hurt and upset. You don't deserve this and he doesn't deserve you.

Break up with him and move on. Do you honestly want to live with this guy? Or have a baby with this guy? Bringing a baby into this relationship doesn't sound like a good idea. Most guys like your guy treat women this way because they know what they are doing and know that you won't leave.

So leave. Good luck. Let me know how this goes.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2010):

Yes this is a toxic relationship and very unstable. My guess from what is a main cause is that trust may have been broken and has not been repaired. This man doesnt seem committed thus it doesnt make sense for you to have a baby with him and moving in together? That may not be best option given his eradic behavior and tendency for manipulation. I would certainly break things off doll. Things just dont logically add up and your emotions are unstable with the guy. Good luck.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2010):

You need to end this relationship and move on. Find someone who loves and cares for you that you can have a future with. But in the mean time, enjoy spending time with your friends, be active - you don't have to have a boyfriend to enjoy life. Your friends obviously see this relationship is not a good one. And under no circumstances have a baby - wait till you are in a totally secure loving relationship.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2010):

moving in together and having a baby does sound like a bad idea. if your having this many problems already then dont further the relationship.leaving can be very hard simply because you just dont know how to be without each other because youve been together so long. if your friends hate him that bad then he cant be that good for you and talking to other girls is unacceptable. leave him for good. and find someone better. goodluck

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