A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:How can I finally accept myself? I look at myself and see a plain looking woman, and most of the time I feel fine, not pretty but also just normal, but then I'll see a prettier girl walking down the street, or on Facebook, or hell, even celeb pictures and whatever.Where I live, we're all brunette practically, with brown eyes and tan skin. So pale blondes with light colored eyes are ideal. All guys I know would kill to have such a girlfriend. They of course have to settle for brunettes like me, but when they meet a blonde, they just can't keep their eyes off her. Being blonde here is an asset, both for girls and guys. Luckily for me, I prefer brunette/tan/brown eyed guys, so I have plenty from where to choose.But still, I remember even when I had a boyfriend, he'd look at blondes and he followed the trend and liked blondes better. But he said he also liked me.I just look at myself and feel so ugly and unspecial. Not because I'm not blonde, well I'd love to be pale and blonde, and have green or blue eyes, but I've seen really pretty brunettes too. I also hate my body 'cause I have short legs, big hips, and small breasts. I've lost a lot of weight and feel I look better, but I still feel like I lack hotness. I'll never be anything better than just plain and normal. How can I accept myself and love myself just as I am? so that when I see a prettier girl down the street, or a blonde, or whoever, I won't automatically feel inferior? I know it's the inside that matters, and I love my personality and talents, but sadly our society puts a greater value on looks. I feel so inferior because of how I look. I already work out and like I said, I feel I look better, but it will never change my face, skin, hair, eyes or breast size. So I just have to accept it... it's what people say all the time, but my question is HOW?
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female
reader, SillyB  +, writes (2 February 2011):
 Oh how funny, here in the states in California where I live, it seems like Latina's are the it girls. Men drool over latin tanned girls with long dark hair. I've had my share of unhappy days as that is my boyfriends 'ideal' while I am a European blue-eyed girl.
You know, in the end, we can't make anyone else happy but ourselves. Forget what someone else likes - work on yourself so you like yourself. Feel chubby, work out and get toned, feel unsexy -change your style and wear make up, feel plain - grow your hair long and get some lighter highlights.
Just focus on yourself and like what you see. Many places around the world your look is highly sought after!
A
female
reader, missm83 +, writes (2 February 2011):
 I Think at one point in our lives we all feel this way. God knows i been thru a lot of breakdowns about how i look. i still have my issues few of them...my boobs are to small and not exactly shaped perfect either, stretchmarks from being a lot bigger when i was younger, birthmarks in private places,i hated my frizzy hair, my big nose..all of that drove me crazy day in day out, then one day i said to myself im wasting my life away by dwelling on my looks..why?! i got so mad at myself that instead of being out there meeting ppl, having fun with my friends i was to busy judging myself in the mirror. i said enough!! no more... i know im a great girl inside and out, and with time looks will fade so i should enjoy the body i have now and do as much as i can.Be thankful for being healthy, for having arms and legs good lungs ...we take all of this for granted. i have worked with cancer patients and i couldnt believe how many young women are sick. and here i am complaining about my healthy breasts? my healthy body? i felt horrible ...since then i changed my out look. i was blessed with this body . and i need to love it and embrace it! since then(2 yrs ego) i been a lot happier more out going, got a great man.. So don't give up!
if you ever wanna email me or send me a msg let me know. just know one thing ... you are beautiful !:)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2011): Self esteem takes a lot of patience and practice. I've found that the older I get the easier it is to accept yourself and let go of those insecurities. It's not easy and it's not a quick process at all. It seems like you're on the road to self acceptance, but you still have some more work to do.
It's hard to say exactly what it takes to gain self confidence...maybe it's just getting used to being in your own body and getting used to what you are like. First of all, you should look at what you DO like about you. Start thinking about what you like about your personality - are you a good person? Do people really care about your looks? Do they like being around you? Are you funny, are you smart, are you artistic?
Once you know what you like about you, start thinking about what you like about your physical self...maybe you have a beautiful eye shape....or nice long lashes...or nice legs....just think about those things a bit & accept them as they are.
Next, work on things you can change...maybe get a new hair cut, or some nice clothes that you feel confident...sometimes these little changes can make you feel good about yourself.
Lastly, you need to love yourself. You are you. You're unique & no one will ever take that away from you. You don't want to be anyone but the best version of YOU that you can be. It'll take time and it's a process, but you will eventually learn to be comfortable in your own skin & feel confident in yourself. :)
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