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How can I feel better? I was led on for a year and a half.

Tagged as: Crushes<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 August 2014) 2 Answers - (Newest, 22 August 2014)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Dear cupid

i loved my crush for 1.5 yrs now.. he too lead me on.. one day he told me he has a gilfriend. i have no idea why i was so dumb. he did not have any such details on his facebook. he did not even have any close friends pics or anything at all so i assumed he was not romantically invovled with anyone.. i told him i really like him n he suddenly says pls dont have such things as i have a girlfrend and we are together for two years. i was literaly broken! i felt the heartbreak and like my life just fell apart. no joke! i was so stupid. he lead me on with romantic ideas and it all came to an end. i decided to end this relationship as all along we had so many close talks more than friendship. i cant handle it anymore. he told me he likes me alot. he even said he loves me in a so called "love" way. its been 4 months since i told him. in this 4 months i spoke to him a few times but avoid his calls but he still calls me. he has a gf and i wan to move away but seem like a even bigger loser because he was the only one friendship/relaationship i had beside two best friends. i spoke to him the most. suddenly i feel llike his life is perfect. he had a gf, soo many many friends. i have nothing right now compared to him. no boyfriend, only maybe one best friend i speak alot to now and basically everything else like a loser when i compare to him. how can i make myself feel better? i have decided to move away from him. in a way he cheated and played with my feelings. i am angry and deeply hurt.

View related questions: best friend, crush, facebook

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2014):

hi i am the OP. no we know each other in person. we met several times but mostly talked on the phone. what really pricks me is he has so many friends in real life and im the sore loser now. he has a gf , perfect life and all along i just dependent on the care, "love" he said to me. yes he led me on to think he loved me too. im so broken. i was but im slowly recovering. how do i stop comparing his life to mine and feel miserable like alone when hes gone. my life feels empty without his calls and without him whereas he has everything he needs. :(

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (21 August 2014):

Honeypie agony auntSo you two had a lot of conversation through Facebook or did you spend time in person too?

You said he was your crush and that he talked romantic things with you that lead you to believe you two shared more than a online "something".

What you had in actuality was a guy YOU really fancies, and who TOOK advantage to your "worship" to have someone to chat with and play out a fantasy he had NO NOTION of making real. He was bored in his own life/relationship so YOU served the purpose of "entertaining" him. I can only IMAGINE how horrible that must feel to find out.

The thing is, you are bitter now. Because the fantasy feel apart and the "crush" toppled of the pedestal you put him on.

He is a total douche-canoe. I mean CAN YOU imagine being his GF and him talking to OTHER girls the way he talked to you? not really a good guy there, and certainly not one that deserves your "worship" and good faith.

And why bother comparing yourself to him? So he has many Facebook friends? BIG freaking deal. ANYONE can be "friends" on Facebook.

It is not the QUANTITY of friends that counts, it's the QUALITY.

Block him from your life, that means de-friend, block, delete - whatever you need to do to remove him. And then ACCEPT that he was NOT the dreamboat you made him out to be. HE is a to-timing cheating loser. THAT is who he is.

Hang out with your REAL friend, spend time with her. Let go of the anger (it serves NO purpose other then make you bitter - you being mad doesn't make him a better guy, nor will he magically become the guy you want him to be) Enjoy life. Met new people.

Let the "crush" live his fake life. And don't WASTE more of your life on this guy.

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